‘Maintenance’ Stage of Change

My last two columns covered the first four stages of intentional change: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, and action. Today, the focus is on the fifth stage—maintenance—and how we can best sustain long-term changes, having already taken action. Many believe this to be the hardest stage, as New Year’s resolutions often remind us that making change is easy, but maintaining it is not.

Maintenance requires either drastic minimisation or total abstinence from unwanted behaviours or the habitual incorporation of desired ones. I previously wrote about building better habits, as they are the strongest predictors of sustained behaviour change due to their ability to become automatic, ingrained actions. This stage is about ensuring your new behaviour requires less physical and emotional effort—making it second nature and part of your daily or weekly routine.

If you struggle at this stage and find yourself reverting to old habits, remember that returning to the comfort zone is human nature. However, overcoming challenges is also a fundamental part of our genetic makeup.

The key to success in this stage lies in tapping into your recovery capital—both internal and external resources you can draw upon to begin and sustain positive change and support.
Internal resources include self-esteem, values, and coping skills, while external resources consist of support systems, finances, access to healthcare, and so on. When counselling people in the maintenance stage, I focus primarily on enhancing internal resources, as too many Guyanese lack major external ones. Either way, it is empowering to realise that you can be the sole source of your improvement.

I place a strong emphasis on emotional control and regulation. I firmly believe that when we become the primary source of our emotional stability, our entire life improves. Make no mistake, achieving composure takes incredible effort—but it is achievable, and here’s how to start.

Emotional control and regulation
Emotional regulation is the ability to acknowledge and express emotions healthily. It involves controlling your current emotional state—the intensity with which you experience it and the way you express it. Every day, we experience hundreds of normal but negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, and jealousy. The ability to intentionally control and manage these emotional states makes you the most resilient and interesting person in the room.
The first step to curbing emotions is understanding how they arise.

Step 1: Pay attention to your thoughts
If you are trying to change your mood, you are already too far gone, as thoughts precede feelings. Our experiences mean nothing without the interpretation and meaning we assign to them. If you notice yourself experiencing a negative emotion, pause and ask:
· What am I thinking?
· What specific thoughts are triggering this emotion?
Once you have the answers, follow up with:
· What evidence do I have to think this way?
· Would I encourage someone else to think this way?
· How are my thoughts contributing to my negative emotions and experiences?

Negative emotions often feel natural and instinctive, but they don’t have to control us. For example:
Typical response:
· Someone says something disrespectful.
· Thoughts: I’ve been embarrassed/disrespected and must react.
· Emotions: Anger, jealousy, sadness.
· Behaviour: Outbursts of rage or tears.

Improved response:
· Someone says something disrespectful.
· Pause.
· Thoughts: Why do I feel disrespected? Was this intentional? Is it even true? Could it be more about them than me? Does this actually require a reaction?
· Emotions: Concern, empathy, understanding.
· Behaviour: Seek clarification or walk away.
Same situation, entirely different outcome—achieved by reframing your thoughts.

Managing negativity bias
Humans naturally focus more on negative emotions than positive ones. Even on a day filled with equal parts joy and frustration, emotions like anger and jealousy often dominate. Make it a habit to acknowledge and savour positive emotions in the same way you dwell on negative ones.

Behaviour combinations and relapse prevention
Combine new behaviours with existing tasks or activities. For example, if your goals include exercising and spending more time with family, organise a weekly sports activity together.
Create a Relapse Prevention Management Plan, a personal and accountable blueprint tailored to your goals. It should include:
· Goals: Clear objectives like “reduce alcohol consumption.”
· Triggers and Challenges: Identifying circumstances that could derail progress.
· Daily Self-Care Plan: Actions to cope with triggers, such as healthy eating, hydration, rest, and exercise.
· Emergency Action Plan: Specific steps for when challenges arise, such as calling a trusted friend.

For example:
Goal: To consume less alcohol.
Triggers: Socialising at bars, pressure from friends, stress, etc.
Plan: Communicate goals, avoid bars, prepare a favourite non-alcoholic drink, and engage in hobbies to divert attention.

Final thoughts
Be open about your goals. Social accountability increases your chances of success. Change begins with acknowledging who you are, identifying who you want to become, and creating a path to bridge that gap. Change can feel like a burden or an opportunity—the choice is yours.

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