I HOPE we are on track in our attempt to incite real change that has brought abundant life improvements.
December’s column covered the first three stages of change: Precontemplation, Contemplation, and Preparation. Today, we explore Stage 4—Action of Change—how we actually go about it.

At this stage, you have realised, acknowledged, and planned for change; steps are being actively taken. It’s not the want for change that’s important but the willingness. You can want something 100 times more than I do, but if I’m more willing to act, it’s mine first.
However, before action is taken, the kind of change that needs to be made needs to be known.

There are essentially four types of behavioural change, each requiring different strategies, time, and self-grace to accomplish:
One-time changes are single-action, permanent changes requiring little to no maintenance, such as an operation.
Repeated, finite changes involve defined goals requiring many actions but have an endpoint, such as obtaining a degree.

Permanent lifestyle changes require long-term maintenance and are routinely difficult, like changing eating habits due to a health diagnosis.
Situational changes involve long-term change but only in specific circumstances, such as practising safe sex.
When the kind of change you are attempting is known, the real fun begins.

Now, we act, and as it sounds, intentional change begins. The action stage is considered successful when there is minimal to total absence of the behaviour you’d like to modify.
Confidence and motivation increase with every successful step as you actively participate in your recovery, seeing the benefits of change. However, at the same time, you may also experience negative emotions, thoughts of giving up, physical discomfort, and conflict within some relationships.

It’s good to acknowledge these feelings; the longer you fight them, the more you feel them. It’s necessary to feel the bad to recognise the good to come.
Considering that our chosen behaviours are largely driven by habits, developing healthier ones is essential. Trial-tested routines create habits; we find what works for us and then become comfortable repeating it. They are automatic, so no thought is needed to complete simple everyday tasks. Imagine deciding in what order to get dressed every day!
It’s easier to undo bad habits when you understand how they develop. According to author and behaviour specialist, James Clear, behaviours become habits when they are obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying.

For instance, if you drink Coke for energy in the morning but want to switch to coffee, Coke likely became a habit because it obviously contains caffeine, is cheaper, more accessible, and easier to prepare, and it tastes good—it fits all the criteria.
To break the coke habit, the opposite is necessary: make it less visible, more difficult to obtain, and less satisfying while making coffee easier. This involves knowledge and behaviour changes, such as researching the sugar and caffeine content compared to coffee, not keeping Coke nearby, and finding affordable, easy-to-prepare coffee.

Keep realistic expectations about ease, cravings, and rewards. Habits are hard to break and create as they require immediate changes in thoughts, mood, and behaviours with little immediate reward. Positive changes often come with negative consequences, like feelings of loneliness and relationship conflicts. It takes a level of isolation to create better habits. Even when progress is made, cravings for old habits may persist. Success, however, comes with consistency.

Your immediate environment may need to change—this can mean people or places. Positive change is difficult in the same unhealthy environment with the same unhealthy people unless everyone there is willing to change.

If your environment can’t be changed, identify high-risk situations by examining the 5 W’s (Who, What, Where, When, Why). Think about the last 3–5 times the unhealthy habits you’re trying to break were practised:
· Who was around?
· What were you doing?
· Where were you?
· When was it?
· Why did you feel the need to engage in the habit?

This identifies patterns in your or others’ behaviours that encourage or enable unhealthy habits, revealing both internal and external triggers. Only when something is foreseen can it be prevented.

Once identified, healthier coping strategies must be explored to better manage those situations in the future. Often, our coping skills are worse than the actual problem. Coping skills are personal methods used to deal with stress, developed from childhood through influences and trial and error. For example, if you witnessed your parents drinking during tough times, you might do the same, especially after experiencing the short-term relief it brings. These are solutions that lead to more problems.

Create a realistic list of your current coping skills. What do you do when upset? Use drugs? Self-harm? Lash out? Isolate yourself? This is a time to be self-aware. Then, create a list of new, healthy coping skills to implement into your life. These can include exercise, hobbies, music, or prayer.

The goal is to directly replace unhealthy habits with healthy ones. For instance, if drinking alcohol is the habit and walking is the replacement, visually pair them so you know it’s time for a walk instead of a drink. Force yourself on that walk until it becomes as habitual as picking up that first drink. Ensure the replacement habits are realistic and practical; for example, if your replacement is football but it’s 3 a.m., you’ll likely revert to the drink.

Create positive reinforcement for every successful step taken. Reinforcement is a behavioural tool that increases or decreases the likelihood of a behaviour recurring. Both positive and negative reinforcement can be effective.

For instance, to reduce alcohol consumption:
Positive reinforcement could be rewarding yourself with the money saved on alcohol.
Negative reinforcement could involve skipping the next social function.

Either approach can support healthy behaviour change, so choose what works for you.
Remember, willpower alone is not the highest predictor of relapse; unhealthy emotions, poor habits, and negative social influences are.

For those supporting loved ones through change, creating safe, comfortable environments that foster honesty, information, and peace is key to enabling positive change.
See you all in your maintenance stage!