Before we know it, 2025 will arrive, and while I’m an advocate for any day being the perfect day for change, most changes begin as New Year’s resolutions, which, sadly, are often the most unsuccessful attempts.
I’ve decided that my next three columns will cover effective change and its maintenance. I’ll be following Prochaska and DiClemente’s six stages of change model. Since its introduction in the 1970s, this model has explained the process every individual undergoes to achieve successful change, allowing for an understanding of readiness and potential barriers.

These stages include:
• Precontemplation: Issues are denied or ignored.
• Contemplation: Issues are accepted, and change is being considered.
• Preparation: Change is decided, and plans are made.
• Action: Plans are implemented to achieve goals.
• Maintenance: Change is effective and actively occurring.
• Relapse: Possible setbacks, but hopefully, a desire to keep going.
In this column, stages 1, 2, and 3 will be discussed. January’s column will cover stages 4 and 5, and February will address stage 6. I have structured it this way for optimum benefits, and perhaps my columns will meet you at your current stage. However, keep in mind that there is no defined beginning or end to each stage; true change takes time, progressing gradually through small steps.

Comfort and routine are one and the same, but we would enjoy healthy change more. When people say they can’t change certain things, I immediately think of COVID, which has changed every single daily habit for much of the world—so our capability is not the issue. It’s not easy, as it involves serious time, effort, and emotion, but healthier habits can become routine, just as unhealthy ones did.

Precontemplation
The first stage of anything is typically denial, where change isn’t even considered because the issue isn’t accepted. However, everyone has behaviours or habits that require change, and you can bring these to self-awareness.
Ask yourself:
• Daily, do you have more negative than positive emotions?
• Is anyone expressing concern about you or your actions?
• Are you having conflicts in your relationships?
• How do you recognise something as problematic?
What would need to happen in your life to incite change?
Take a minute to reflect on these questions because the harsh truth is that if you aren’t dealing with your problems, your loved ones probably are.

Contemplation
If you are here, it means you have acknowledged that there is a need for change, but your willingness and motivation are being questioned. The benefits of change are clear, but so are the costs, so ambivalence can keep people in this stage for months or even years.
Most go wrong here by making decisions based on others’ opinions or generic reasons such as “I should” or “this is considered better practice.” Change only occurs when it’s important and specific to you.

If you know you need to make a change but don’t know in which area yet, that’s okay, too. Pay attention to what you do when there’s no directive—when you are free to do as you please. What are you doing? Does it bring contentment or sadness?
This stage helps normalise and resolve ambivalence, leading to self-awareness and self-love. However, to avoid remaining here too long, ask yourself:
• What harm is the behaviour currently causing?
• Why do you want to change?
• What barriers are preventing change?
• What or who can help create change?
Self-love is vital at this stage. We better ourselves to the extent that we believe we deserve, so we must nourish our self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-efficacy. These terms are often used interchangeably but are entirely different, and neglecting them equally can cause great issues.
• Self-esteem is how you feel about your personal qualities (e.g., “Am I a good person? Am I kind?”).
• Self-confidence refers to abilities (e.g., “Am I good at marketing? Cooking?”).
• Self-efficacy is associated with specific tasks (e.g., “I handled a situation well, so I feel good about myself.”).
Every night, I urge you to write down:
• Two qualities you admire about yourself.
• Two things you are good at.
• One thing you accomplished that day.
Even small accomplishments help develop a healthy balance of all three, pushing you towards change.
Reframe your thoughts from what you believe you are giving up to what you’re instead gaining. For example, it may seem like giving up social nights with friends, but you are actually gaining more financial freedom.

To move faster into ‘Preparation,’ practice envisioning. Visualise yourself a year after the change has occurred. What does it look like? How do you feel?
Most people do not get further than this stage, but you are not most people. Remember, if you continue doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep receiving what you’ve always had.
Preparation
“How?” is now the key question.
This stage is crucial because change often fails due to lack of preparation. Here, you cultivate the necessary skills, distinguish new from previous approaches, and mentally prepare for the difficulties ahead.
Instead of asking, “How will I do it?” try picturing yourself having already done it and asking, “How did I do it?” This shifts your mindset to focus on possibilities rather than problems.
Identify your motivational habits:
• Extrinsic motivation (external): e.g., exercising to improve appearance.
• Intrinsic motivation (internal): e.g., exercising for mental and physical health benefits.
• Both are valid, but knowing which applies to you is vital for lasting change.

Start with small steps. Acknowledge that the smallest step is greater than the largest intention. Actions may include reading relevant books, joining clubs, consulting professionals, or following social media pages promoting your desired change.
Making change requires time, which can be overwhelming. I recommend the Eisenhower Matrix, a task management tool that organises priorities into four categories:
• Urgent and Important.
• Urgent but Not Important.
• Important but Not Urgent.
• Neither Urgent nor Important.
It takes 60 days for new behaviours to become habits. Most people fail not because it’s hard, but because it’s tedious. Push through the discomfort to form habits.
These stages are personal and fluid. You might stay in one stage for a long time or skip others altogether. You can also work on multiple changes simultaneously, being in different stages for each.
Celebrate all progress, no matter how minimal it seems.
Finally, prepare for lapses or setbacks. “Failure” is a tool that provides valuable information about what doesn’t work for you. Persistence matters more than perfection.
Please tune in for January’s column, where I’ll discuss the realities of the Action and Maintenance stages.