I WANT to thank you for sticking to your guns concerning love. I blame myself for not listening to my heart and emotions from a young age: Twelve years old, actually. I listened to the counsel of those who said not to get carried away: Use your brain; not your emotions. So I married a guy I really liked, had great times with, and who was intelligent and cute.

I thought this would guarantee good-looking, attractive children, and he would be a good bet as a provider. But on my wedding night, I dreamed about the boy who kissed me when I was 12, and knocked me on my butt! He was a deprived kid who ran the streets, smoked, and was truant, but thrilled me to my toes.

From my first marriage, I have a son who is smart and good-looking, but I forgot to factor in the gene for schizophrenia that came with the intelligent, cute father.

My second marriage was to a big guy who protected me from the first husband, who turned out to be physically abusive and did not pay the bills in spite of making good money. We knew ours was not a romantic relationship, but we had a deep friendship based on common political and spiritual values. We were cynical about love.

After 35 years, I divorced him and reconnected with my childhood love. We had not seen each other for decades, and with our guards down, fell madly and passionately in love.

For the first time in my life, I am living. I will be 70 in March, and have been married now for seven years. All the good things I missed out on are now mine here at the end. Life is sweet.
Lillian

Lillian,
Walt Whitman’s poem, ‘Halcyon Days’, refers to a Greek myth about the kingfisher. According to legend, in the middle of winter, the sea’s calm so the bird can lay her eggs in a nest floating upon the water. Figuratively, the poem is about the clarity of vision found nearer the end of life than the beginning.

The final lines are, “…as life wanes, and all the turbulent passions calm…as the days take on a mellower light…Then for the teeming quietest, happiest days of all! The brooding and blissful halcyon days!”

Sometimes, when youth and age reconnect, we understand what truly matters.