Hello Everyone,
I hope this week has treated you well.
As I mentioned last week, I would like to speak about coping strategies today. Why? Because every one of us has daily as well as long-term stressors. If you feel that you do not experience any kind of stress, please see my email below and tell me how you do it!
Stress comes from every angle in life. We have work stress, school stress, family and relationship stress, financial stress- just to name a few. We now have added stress in the upcoming weeks because of the holidays. We have to see family and others that we might not like; we have to buy presents for people that we might not want or afford to buy for; we have to serve food and drinks to people who never serve us.

How do we deal with this? Some people deal with it rather unhealthily – we scream at people, give up and take to our beds, use heavy amount of drugs/alcohol etc. Well, what if I told you there were healthy and productive ways to deal with this large amounts of stress? Would you even believe me? Have a read!
So, what is stress? It’s one of those words we use constantly but is actually difficult to define and describe. Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain caused by difficult or unusual circumstances. Stress severely impacts both our mental and physical health. Levels as well as reasons for stress differ between men and women.

Studies show that men become more stressed when it comes to their careers while women become more stressed based on interpersonal relationships. I realise that sounds outdated and sexist but it’s a fact. I’d like to think it’s because women are just more natural caregivers and there is nothing wrong with that. However, our ability to cope with stressors are exactly the same.

What are some simple ways to deal with stress?
Reduce your load – there is always so much to be done that we feel needs to be done right away. Try delegating, better time management and writing fixed and realistic schedules to follow. Understand that making mistakes is normal and sometimes necessary – learn from them rather than resenting them. Find someone you can trust and confide in them. Finally and most importantly, develop and maintain healthy coping strategies. The worst part is stress is not only caused by negative events. A wedding, new job, re-location and even the birth of a child causes high stress levels. This is what makes coping skills so important.

What is coping?
Coping refers to our individual ability to deal with stressful situations. It is our beliefs, thoughts and actions that allow us to be honest with ourselves about what we feel and need. Heathy coping allows us to overcome obstacles, accept and deal with setbacks, be adaptive to any changes around us and be generally happier. We cannot always control what people say or do to upset us or what general situations arise. However, we do have complete control over its effects on us and how we deal with it.

Developing coping mechanisms is quite difficult as emotions that arise when we are upset are very powerful. They tend to cloud our judgement, decision making and even creative abilities- all very much needed to handle a stressful situation. While of course it is better to start developing healthy coping strategies early, it is never too late to learn them.
There are two major types of coping strategies – which ever one is used depends on the individual. The first is problem focused strategy where the individual focuses on the problem itself that may cause stress. For example, if a husband has to relocate (when he does not want to) as his wife received a promotion, he will focus on the problem itself- moving and how to cope with that. He will analyse the situation, what exactly he does not like about it and work on it. If he does not like that he has to leave his hobbies behind, he will try to find similar ones in his new location.

The second is emotion-focused strategy where the individual focuses on their emotions that the problem/stress has elicited. For example, if the aforementioned husband is sad, angry and resentful for this relocation, he will focus on strategies that handle his feelings of distress. He won’t avoid or deny his feelings, he will choose to do relaxation/breathing exercises; he will do the things that make him happy; he will talk to his wife or a professional.

I have always been partial to Emotion focused strategy as I am an emotional person. This means that at times, I let my emotions guide me and get the better of me. I am also a firm believer in the saying “Life is 90% what happens to us and 10% how we react to it.”
Now, are all coping strategies helpful and good? No, there are many unhealthy coping methods that many of us use daily. Some are short –term and maladaptive which means they are successful in reducing stress for a short period of time but end up causing additional stress in the long run. The most common of this is heavy drug/alcohol use. How many times do we give or receive the phone call “I’ve had a bad day- let’s take a drink.” I can’t even count how many of these conversations I have been a part of but I do recognise that it’s unhealthy and counterproductive. There is also making others feel badly about themselves, excessive working and avoidance, nail biting, over or under eating, isolation, self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

It might not be completely our fault as our coping methods depend on quite a few things – our biology, our personality and our social environment. As an example, some of us choose to drink when stressed as that is the social norm in Guyana. However, that doesn’t exactly make it right. A complete change can be started by one individual.
So, what are some examples of good coping skills?
These of course depend on the individual. What relaxes, calms or excites you may not work for many others. If you have never thought about things that may work for you, here is a list. Try one or try them all!

-Exercise- any form- dancing, team sports, punching bags, bicycles. This is not about weight loss but rather releasing positive endorphins.
– Keep a feelings journal. Writing is so therapeutic.
– Educate yourself- read about everything! For fun, even.
– Become artistic – draw, paint, colour, create or simply listen to music .
-Watch light hearted movies/ T.V shows- we get enough drama from real life.
– Be social with the right people. Keep good and positive people around.
– Spend quality time with yourself. Really get to know and love who you are!
– Practise good self-care. This means taking the time to do things that make you feel good about yourself. This can be anything from reading to doing your nails/hair. When we are confident and feel good on the outside- we tend to also internalise these feelings.

– Try breathing techniques.
– When you have a lot to do, write to do lists to visualize productivity by ticking off what you have done.
– Create and stick to a budget every day. Monetary issues causes a lot of stress.
-Create a list of things you ‘want’ vs need’. This brings out appreciation.
– Build confidence, gratitude, positivity/ optimism.
– Set new and realistic goals for yourself.
– Volunteer! Gain a sense of purpose and satisfaction by helping others.
– Practise forgiveness. This is for you- not anyone else.
– Focus on your religious/ spirituality practises (if you have any)
– Learn to walk away. When you are overly stressed or angry – take some personal space. Unfortunately for us, problems do not just disappear. They will be there for us to tackle when we are ready to do so.

– Find someone you can trust and confide in them. It is okay if you feel you cannot cope on your own. Seeking professional help also counts as healthy coping. This helps you to become stronger (not weaker) when dealing with future stressors and challenging situations.
For which ever one you decide to try, make a note of whether it worked for you or it did not. If it didn’t, that’s okay- just try something else. If it does work, it takes much practise to make it a regular exercise. For example, if you’re used to taking a drink when you are stressed but are now trying to get exercise instead, it will take weeks of practising for that to become natural. Keep it up!
Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com Or come in to see me at:

Georgetown Public Hospital: Psychiatric Department:
Monday- Friday – 8am- 12pm
Woodlands Hospital: Outpatient Department
Drug and Alcohol group meetings – Mondays 4:15
Good mental health group meetings- Wednesdays 4:15
Suicide Prevention Helpline numbers: 223-0001, 223-0009, 623-4444, 600-7896
Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always