This column can be triggering for some, but I believe will bring hope to many more. An avid reader of this column reached out and wanted to briefly share her experiences with sexual abuse and even more positive, how she overcome her trauma.

First, I would like to be clear on what constitutes sexual abuse. This is any unwanted sexual activity on to another person. Examples could be harassment, refusing to wear protection, active rape/penetration; it is so broad that we understand that anything sexual that was unwanted is sexual abuse.

This is a topic that not many are comfortable speaking about for many different reasons. They may be victims, perpetrators, friends of either or just plain uncomfortable. However, considering how common it is, it needs to be addressed.

Below is a true testimonial from a reader who wanted to share her story to bring hope to others who may be recovering from sexual abuse. I would like to say that not everyone handles situations the same; some may turn to things other people may not believe in, that doesn’t mean it can’t be helpful. I hope you take the message at its core.

“Sexual abuse is a sword that pierces the heart of its victims. As someone who was sexually abused a few times at an extremely young age, I am now very proud of being able to say I am no longer a victim but a victor. I would like to share some of my good and bad experiences during the many, many years of my struggles to overcome the effects of my traumatic experience.

As someone who was abused by two different men, I would like to say the aftereffects were not easy to face or overcome. I was affected in so many ways, but I would like to share several of them with you all.

Firstly, I constantly felt like I was in prison and for many years, separated from the world. I suffered sexual scorn, I was stripped from my whole human dignity, lived in fear almost all my life, my laughter and speech were taken away from me, and I suffered from clinical depression. Since I was ten years old, I began longing for death and starting suffering from this depression.

I, who was traumatised, had to keep fighting against these strong feelings. It took me a while but I eventually sought any help I could get and took every opportunity I got to change my reality.

Being in that situation can lead a person into suicidal thoughts and attempts. Even though I was affected in so many ways, including psychologically, physically, and emotionally, did not want to go down that path.

Every time I thought of suicide, I thought of how it would affect my loved ones – friends, family, and community. Then I realised, what about me? Do not I love and care for myself the same? Yes, I do and I didn’t, I should. I believed then, at an early age that I will bear the pain and push on, even though it was ten times worse than any physical ailment I had ever had. When I felt overwhelmed, I cried- crying helps a lot so let it flow.

So, what did I do to overcome these feelings?
Firstly, I am catholic, so I turned to my God for hope and help. I turned to my family, friends, and community a lot for support – and they were very helpful. I’m not sure I would have been here today without their constant support. Though I knew I wasn’t perfect, I also tried to do as much good as I can with volunteering and trying to help anyone that needed it.

I often thought writing my feelings in a journal was a big help- sometimes I shared these feelings with loved ones and sometimes I didn’t – but either way it still helped.

I sought professional help with both a counselor and a psychiatrist and was prescribed medication for clinical depression. The medication along with the homework activities my counselor gave me were a big help, especially when put together.

I also did research and other places that do counselling, and I used them as much as possible. Some of the places were Help and shelter, the Ministry of Health Mental health unit and Georgetown public hospital’s psychiatric department as there are counsellors, social workers, and doctors always available there.

I would like to advise people to stop being shy or embarrassed about getting professional help as I don’t know what I would have done without it. Knowledge about this help should be sought from people whether they have a mental health illness or not.

Clinical depression to me was like being in a cage with a lion. It’s very scary, very horrifying, tears were my steady diet- everything I drank tasted like vinegar, my food tasted like poison. Doing all the above helped me to come out of that cage and not being eaten alive- which I equate to suicide.

I’ve grown to realise that no matter how bad it is, it did happen for a reason and there is always something positive to learn from the situation.

It’s been 48 years since I’ve been struggling with this and I’m doing much better as I can finally say I can stand on my own. However, I still have to remember that if I do not continuously lean on my various support systems, I may not be.

I wish to say thank you to everyone who have helped stay alive.

I am very happy with sharing my experience with all of you especially those who are trying to help themselves and those who are even trying to help others. If you have been through similar situations and need a listening ear, please do call me anytime on 683 3990.

Maybe I can help you to become a Victor too!

Sincerely
Marietta Campbell”

Thank you for reading everyone, please remember to continue sending in topics to caitlinvieira@gmail.com. If you’d like to share a story like this one- anonymously or not, please do reach out!