THE next few lines of this column could be interpreted as a snippet of an autobiography. In all my life in social and political activism and the media, I have never encountered a Guyanese actor more hilarious than Mr. Vishnu Bisram.
I have seen some weird and unusual characters in politics, particularly a man name Lindley Geborde who entered the political campaign years ago and his motto was, “The Eagle has landed.”
Geborde was simply a figure of absurdity and the entire world thought he was just a display of fun.
Then there was C. N. Sharma. He was not as crazily hilarious as Geborde but he was seen by the society as a light human to laugh at. But in all my “donkey years” in my country, I think the most foolish, silly and laughable, side-splitting, entertaining actor is Vishnu Bisram.
Mr. Bisram has formed a party and is contesting the presidency. And it is an act of psychological determinism that the name of Bisram’s party reflects the inherent comicality in his persona.
Mr. Bisram’s party’s name if G-America. The intention of his party, he noted is “making Guyana, an adjunct of the United States.”
What is going to be unprecedented in politics in any part of the world is that on September 2 when the elections results are aired, G-America is not going to get even one vote because Mr. Bisram is not even going to vote for himself.
Let us trace the humourous inherency in the psychology of Mr. Bisram. First, Mr. Bisram announced the past 30 years that he has been doing polling in Guyana. In those 30 years, not one Guyanese citizen, be it a UG student, UG lecturer, teacher, accountant, public servant, private sector manager has been identified as working with Mr. Bisram in any of the 10 Regions of Guyana.
No one in Guyana knows who the people are in Mr. Bisram’s polling organisations and the offices through which the operations are done. About 10 years ago, I was speaking to a prominent lawyer (who is still prominent) and we were discussing Bisram’s so-called polls and when I brought up the secrecy of where the work is based, I will never forget his words. Laughingly, he said, “Freddie, the man’s office is in his brief case.”
Secondly, under a column by Mr. Bisram in his online newspaper, Indian Diaspora, Caribbean News, the qualifications of Mr. Bisram are listed. He has six masters and six doctorates, making it 12 higher degrees.
The six doctorates are in six different subjects, making Mr. Bisram the most educated human on Planet Earth. Why is Mr. Bisram comical? It is in the jocosity of the list of qualifications. Any sensible self-promoter would have been careful not to look ludicrous and would have put down about three masters and two doctorates. But he enumerated six doctorates.
Thirdly there is more jocosity in the work of Mr. Bisram but it could only be found in an aura of mystery. Mr. Bisram is in his early seventies and in his life, he achieved six doctorates but over the past 40 years he has been in the public eyes in Guyana, not one word has been published by Mr. Bisram of the different places he has worked.
A man with six masters and six doctorates must have entered the hallways of at least three universities and three top international organisations.
Fourthly, Mr. Bisram’s jocularities have a zany twist to them. If you read Mr. Bisram as is my work to do, you find that across a 50-year period, he has met the world’s most learned men and women and some of the world’s top politicians.
Each time he writes, this line in his letters is inevitable – “I have met this Prime Minister or this President or this scientist.”
I could offer a Freudian analysis of Mr. Bisram but as the campaign heats up, I will look further at this uproarious personality.
Finally, the presidential candidate. Mr. Bisram now wants to be the President of Guyana. He has registered to contest the election. But remember, Mr. Bisram is a pollster, so the entire Guyana and the entire Guyana diaspora will wait with expanding curiosity as to what his election polling will say about his own party’s chances.
Now if you read all that I have written above about the comical functionalism of Mr. Bisram, I don’t think you will be surprised to find out that his polls on his own party in the campaign will show he is neck and neck with Irfaan Ali. In his imagination of course!

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Guyana National Newspapers Limited.