TODAY is yet another birthday for me. My mom threw me into this world on this today a long, long time ago and along the way, I have gathered bitter-sweet memories of my life. I am 74 and in the long years I have been around in my country, the memories are as long as the Essequibo.

Those memories are neatly bifurcated into happy moments and regretful times. I still haven’t decided if there is preponderance towards the good times outweighing the depressing years or the opposite. I am more inclined to go for the opposite although I believe my life could have been worse.

It has been a long journey for me and at times I wonder why I ever embarked on that journey. It has been a never-ending ride where there are times you see the inner goodness of Homo sapiens and the dark corners of the human mind in people that causes you to wonder if the mind can ever be unburdened by the serpentine fibers that block the windows of light.
I don’t think I can ever reflect on the downsides and upsides of my life as each birthday comes and goes without a reflection of my wife. But as our 46th anniversary is coming up, I will leave my thoughts on her when that moment arrives.

I offer my readers two songs that characterise a huge part of my memory bank. The first is titled “Memory” taken from the Broadway musical “Cats.” I missed the old days when I was a happy youth working in the Michael Forde Bookstore of the PPP and reading the most important books on philosophy. I missed the integrity of Guyanese politics when I was a UG student and I was committed to the liberation of the poor and powerless.

Those were the days of the politics of purity and the purity of politics. I would be lying if I say that I do not yearn for those days, those years, those emotions. That was a time when words meant something and those words added meaning to your life. Today, I look at the politics of deceit, the betrayal of promise, and the contempt for philosophy and I am happy I am getting old as the silver overruns my hair.

The second song is an Italian love song that fills me with immense mental peace. It reminds me of endless days and forever nights on the Georgetown seawall throughout my life. I belong to that place and when I die, I want my ashes to be scattered there. Being forever on the seawall, made me discover that there is an inner calm that resides in humans that can heal the soul of its torments. I hope you reflect on these two songs and discover their meaning.

Memory from the Broadway Musical, “Cats.”
“Midnight, not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight, the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Every street lamp seems to beat

A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the street lamp sputters
And soon it will be morning
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life

And I mustn’t give in
When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
Burnt out ends of smoky days

The stale, cold smell of morning
A street lamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning
Touch me, it’s so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory

Of my days in the sun
If you touch me, you’ll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun.”

Senza Fine – (Italian love song)

Senza fine
Let it always be senza fine
There’s no end to our love
Our hopes, our dreams, our sighs
No end at all, no sad goodbyes
No fears, no tears, no love that dies
It’s senza fine
Senza fine
Let it always be senza fine

Never-ending
The sunlit days, the moonlit nights
The sea, the sand, the starry heights
Are yours and mine forever more
All we are and all we know
Is love and love alone, so
We’ll go floating far above
In never-ending timeless love

Let it always be senza fine
Never-ending
The sunlit days, the moonlit nights
The sea, the sand, the starry heights
Are yours and mine forever more
Let it always be senza fine
Never-ending it’s senza fine

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Guyana National Newspapers Limited.