– Joel Vogt establishes nonprofit ‘With You’ to support bereaved youths

THE finality of death can feel almost unbelievable, particularly when it strikes a parent, someone whose support may have never wavered.

Having recently gone through this life-changing experience with the loss of his mother, 24-year-old Joel Vogt started a nonprofit organisation for young people to navigate grief.

“At any point in your life, you have to face grief, whether it follows from the loss of a job or a family member, especially the loss of a parent,” Vogt said in a recent interview with the Guyana Chronicle.

In January 2022, Vogt, the youngest of five siblings, lost his mother to kidney failure, and while some time has passed, a void is ever present.

“There isn’t much emphasis on grief, especially in Guyana; after the funeral preparations and stuff, people have to go back to their normal; family members who would have consoled you have to go back to their normal lives, and you are left there all alone with the grief because it’s a long-life thing, it’s an everlasting thing; you don’t really get over grief,” Vogt, who is also a media practitioner, said.

Shortly after his mother’s passing, he decided to establish the bereavement foundation ‘With You’ as he, too, was seeking support during his time of loss.

“I did get some sort of support from my close friends, my god sister, and my god mother, but it wasn’t enough that a bereaved person deserves, so following my mom’s death, I became depressed.”

Recalling his journey, Vogt shared that grief brought on more than he could imagine.

He explained that when many think of grief, it is often limited to small sympathies and funeral arrangements. However, grief stretches far beyond this, and no limit should be placed on how a person should mourn.

“It hit me after the funeral; that’s when the grief started. I started to get flashbacks about my mother; that’s when I started smelling her cologne. These things that remind me of my mother. I dreamt about my mother and they were good dreams and that is when it hit me; that is when it hit; it felt like there was no hope, there was nobody to call late in the night,” he recalled.

The pain of grief, he said, can also disrupt one’s mental and physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. Still, these are normal reactions to loss and the more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be. However, this is not always culturally accepted, especially among Guyanese men.

“Following my mother’s death, I wanted more support. I didn’t just want words of encouragement. Grief support goes beyond sympathy; it goes beyond saying how you are doing, telling you stay strong; its lifelong thing,” he said adding: “So, it comes down to being there for somebody. It doesn’t only help them emotionally or mentally; it helps them in their everyday life. You know with mental health especially for men…there isn’t much focus.”

He said mental health and grief are symbiotic, and with men often being ostracized whenever the topic of mental illness arises, he believes it’s even more difficult for them to process grief.
“Mental health comes hand in hand with grief. Following grief comes mental health. I think with you placing more focus on grief, you have to place more focus on mental health.”

He added, “With mental illness and men, that is where the focus should be, because men grieve differently than women. I can testify to that.”

Through his foundation, Vogt hopes that he can inspire more Guyanese, especially young men and women, to speak more openly about grief and its effects on one’s life.

“When you are grieving, some people become isolated, depressed, and with depression, you don’t want to eat, you don’t want to go out anywhere; you want to be locked in and with that you shy away from people and you don’t want to come out. You don’t want to be in social activities.”

He believes that when young people experience grief, they are often not afforded the opportunity to process their loss in a safe environment.
This is where he believes his foundation will become relevant.

“Our agenda, we are trying to have additional services, so right now, coping services, grieve guidance, counselling, therapy, outdoor therapy where you can have a space to express how you feel with people who can relate to and make you feel acknowledged.”

‘A TRIBUTE TO MOMMY’
Describing his mother as a vibrant soul, Vogt noted that she was the biggest supporter in his smallest accomplishments, his career, and everyday life. Her support, he said, never wavered.
“My mother was a Proverbs 31 woman. She was very much an inspiration woman; she was a phenomenal woman… she was a very brave and innovative woman; she was very flashy; she liked jewelry; she liked to dress up and stuff,” he reflected.

The foundation is somewhat of a tribute to his mother as he processes his loss. Despite not having her physically with him, she lives on within him as he continues to navigate life and help others.

If you want to learn more about the With You Foundation, call Joel Vogt at 677-0233 or visit Facebook @With You Foundation and Instagram @sharinghopewithyou.