This moment too will pass

FOR people who routinely go about their daily lives full of hope, aspirations and relative joy, it is hard to understand how anyone could reach a point where they die by suicide. But some people feel hopeless at times and resort to suicide as a means of escaping the world.

Pressure, pain, sorrow, jealousy, anxiety, fear, loathing, hate, desire, anguish, despair, stress, love, anger, and happiness are only some of the emotions we will experience. Emotions are unavoidable and part of our psychological makeup. They will confront us in different scenarios on life’s journey. But feeling them and learning how to deal with the negativity some emotions arouse are separate issues.

Some people are very good at dealing with negative emotions; they have developed coping skills and strategies because they realise that conflicts and challenges will happen, regardless of who you are, where you live, your social status, ethnicity, or age. More importantly, they know that things will change or get better, adjust, or time itself will fix their problems and concerns. Life is about moving on and making the best of what you have.

Not everyone shares this optimistic view, however – with a whimsical understanding of existence and their place in the world. Some adults get caught up in emotions and react impulsively at every turn. They never stop to evaluate what they are doing, what they are feeling or why. They are easily overwhelmed by circumstances and behave irrationally. Those who feel completely hopeless may turn to suicide.

No one should underestimate the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that lead to suicide. In the victim’s eyes, there is no other option; it is the only way out. Suicide seemingly occurs when a person does not have the mental capacity to handle deep trauma that affects their life or they have unaddressed mental health issues.

Victims of rape, sexual abuse, and physical violence are at a higher risk of suicide, as they are equally to alcoholism, substance abuse and depression. When influenced by drugs or alcohol, a person is more likely to justify their thoughts and act on impulse. They do not understand that life is full of confrontations, pain, challenges and emotions that come and go or rise and subside.

Friends and close family members may advise a depressed person to ‘snap out of it’ and ‘pull them self together’. But despair can be a strong emotion that descends upon a victim like a heavy cloud, and only medical or professional intervention can help.

When a suicide attempt fails, there is a fair chance that the victim may try again unless he/she receives appropriate timely counselling. Sceptics and insensitive people might say, ‘that man is just seeking attention. He didn’t really want to kill himself’. But people should take every suicidal thought, mention, or attempt seriously. It is not attention-seeking but a cry for help from someone who has nowhere else to turn.

Child Advocacy Centres were introduced to Guyana in 2014. There are 11 centres located in various Regions for children who have suffered sexual or physical abuse. The centres are staffed by trained professionals who carefully interview children and record their ordeals for multidisciplinary team follow-up, investigation and legal purposes. A psychological assessment and therapeutic services for the child and family are also available.

Suppose people could talk through their traumas, problems and circumstances with professional counsellors and receive valuable advice? Therein lies hope for those who feel their whole world has caved in around them.

Some signs usually precede suicidal thoughts and action – such as self-harm, social isolation, change in sleeping or eating habits, loss of interest in school or other activities and behaviour that is strange or out of character. The most significant red flag is depression; when a child or adult does not want to get out of bed and shows little or no interest in anything, do not hesitate to seek medical advice.

As children grow from tweens to adolescents, it is harder for parents to know what they think and how they feel. During this stage, staying connected by listening to and talking with children is vital. Should a child make an off-hand or pessimistic remark such as, ’you’d be better off without me’ or ‘I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up’, parents should not dismiss these remarks as typical teenage woes. It could be a serious cry for help. Find out why the child feels that way, and don’t stop or give up until you have a credible reason.

If your child needs help, don’t be ashamed or afraid to reach out. The Childcare and Protection Agency’s hotline number is 914. The Ministry of Heath has a Suicide Prevention Hotline; call them on: 223 0001/223 0009/600 7896/623 4444. (WhatsApp 600 7896 623 4444). Email: guyagency@yahoo.com. Your local doctor can give advice and recommend a trained Counsellor or Psychologist if necessary.

How can we learn to accept life’s ups and downs – its harsh soul-destroying, yet sobering and humbling lessons? Where do we find the balance and moderation that enables us to enjoy a peaceful existence?

We can help our children. The earlier we teach them to recognise their emotions, the more they will master self-control and opt for self-care as they grow, rather than destruction. Instead of being overwhelmed by emotions, they need to manage them. A great man once said about everything that happens in life, “this too will pass”.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com

A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY

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