YES, it is a fast-paced, ever-changing world, and yes, we would all like to feel a part of it, but not to the detriment of our children. Many parents engrossed in their cell phones are neglecting their children daily. With their laughing and ‘talking people’s name’, frolicking and non-important conversations, they fail to realise they are not only setting a poor example but creating a strained parent/child relationship.

A child would not confide in or take a problem to a parent who is always on his/her phone. Neither would the child take the parent seriously at times when it matters – such as teaching essential morals and values or sharing life skills. A child might respect his parent, but the child’s life is affected when the parent is constantly on his/her cell phone. Cunning children will use their parent’s ‘phone time’ to get up to all sorts of mischief. These parents generate an adverse environment, which negatively impacts their children.

Cellphones are additive. In many cases, they are a person’s best friend. For such persons, it is hard to imagine life without a cell phone. They provide up-to-date sensational news items, entertainment, endless information and connections worldwide. But parents distracted by cellphones around children is more widespread than need be. The nurturing of children must take precedence over devices and technology.

Spending hours on their phone around children may seem harmless to adults, especially when the children are equally as occupied, doing their own thing; but it kills the art of conversation before initiation, and there are long-term effects. Research shows that the parenting and child outcomes can be low sensitivity and awareness and limited verbal and non-verbal exchanges. such could lead to discontentment with time spent together as a family and less organised parenting (and co-parenting). It also stands to reason that behavioural problems in children could arise from neglect due to adult cell phone addiction.

While some people need to use cell phones around children for working and studying, adults must designate a specific time to family each day. Children should be aware that the device is a necessary tool, during this time, rather than a plaything. The adage says: There is a time for everything.

Parents need to take a wholesome look at their behaviour and see if it needs to be modified. How do they appear to their children? Can they justify spending hours on the phone listening to a friend talking meaningless garbage instead of spending time with their children? An excellent way to judge worthwhile communication is by asking yourself what you gained from the interaction or the message you took five minutes to read. How much have you grown or been enlightened?

Deep inside, some children may believe their parents prefers their cell phones to them – remember they are children trying to make sense of an adult world. They don’t know how to say, ‘Hey, I need your attention, and I need it now!’ Or suggest that parents get their priorities in order and use their cell phones in moderation when they are around. No, as usual, when adults are inconsiderate, children suffer.

When parents are lonely, bored or stressed, they may turn to their cell phones for comfort and recreation. After a hard day’s work, adults spend time catching up on events on their phones and do so before they think of their children – disregarding their children’s well-being, to which they are obligated. Cell phones can displace time that parents should spend with children. Parents must remember children need to off-load too. And who better for a child to talk to than a parent (who is not attached to his/her phone).

Most adults are unaware of the emotional stress accompanying their excessive device use. They multi-task between their phone and parenting daily, and many deny that child neglect is an issue – or their phones have an unfavourable effect on their lives. They fail to see how incoming communication during family time, bedtime, mealtime or storytime distracts from ‘quality time’. A time meant for sharing, bonding, loving and nurturing is sullied by the consistent and ever-present ping or ring from a cell phone.

Children would benefit if parents turned off their phones at specific times and concentrated more on family life. Parents can develop healthy ‘device-using’ lifestyles for themselves and their children, with a bit of old-fashioned imagination. They can learn to ‘use’ their phones wisely instead of allowing their phones to use them. Some people have become highly dependent on their devices without realising or acknowledging their transition. So much so that what they see, hear and watch on them shapes their moods, lives and sense of reality.

Too much cell phone use may be a strong habit that some adults find hard to break. But it can be overcome in time, with determination and for the sake of children and stable family life. When adults model positive traits, their children follow, but once the time is wasted on idle pursuits, it cannot be regained.

It is incredible how parents can make time for the things they choose to make time for – however, family life should come first. Spend time playing together, hugging, talking, joking, eating, laughing, interacting, phone free. When more time is paid to children than devices, everyone benefits in the long run. Challenge yourself today, switch off your phone and give your children some love.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY