“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”- Paulo Coelho
LAST weekend was the first time I heard this quote and I found the meaning intriguing. I decided to take the last weekend in the first quarter of the year for self-care. I was sitting with my friend/sister Phillipa enjoying the beautiful sunset and chatting about various aspects of life and my upcoming 50th birthday celebration. I could not resist the urge to take a pic of the sunset I shared in this article. The image can change in a matter of minutes just like our lives. My mind drifted to the houses below the sunset and the people occupying the houses.

I have been doing this for decades. I enjoy watching and observing people at airports, markets, restaurants, hospitals etc. One of the things I missed about living in Barbados is relaxing on Brandon Beach and focusing my attention on the cruise ships until they disappeared. So many lives on that big boat – some happy, some sad, some enjoying honeymoon, some with terminal illnesses, etc. Every life has a story!

My focus returned to the person sitting next to me and I told her how much I value our friendship and she said the feeling was mutual. Mohamed Ali said “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”
A great friendship is priceless! Great friendships can inspire you and motivate you to grow into a better version of yourself. Phil knows how hectic things can get with my schedule and she gives me these constant reminders that her home is available for me to relax and unwind. She does not allow me to do anything other than chill. We always watch a classic movie.  We listened to the raindrops on the roof, music (from the Dee Gees, Neil Diamond, and Kenny Rogers)   eat homemade soursop ice cream, and so many other invaluable life experiences were created.  I encourage you to value and treasure the friends who add value to your life. If you don’t have such friends in your circle, please find some who challenge and inspire you.

I am attracted to people with good hearts and who care about others and that is how I connected with Phillipa, Raquel, Lorna, Desiree and a few others. Phillipa connected with my mom because of the same reason we connected. She describes my mom as a loving person with a pure heart. They also connect while chatting about the deceased husbands and they both were blessed with husbands who loved them until death. When we live our lives a certain way we never die because of the lives we touched while passing through.

Let’s go back to the quote I started this column with. We often hear about “becoming “ and maybe sometimes we should shift the focus on unbecoming.
The quote said unbecoming everything that is not you. Too many people are not living their authentic lives which is unfortunate. Some people find themselves in jobs, careers and relationships that they absolutely hate. So even stop dreaming. I love this statement by George Bernard Shaw and made popular by Robert Kennedy. “Some men see things as they are, and say why. I dream of things that never were, and say why not”

I have had conversations with people who are stuck because they are caught between what they think they are and what people are expecting them to be. Sometimes we need to unlearn things to make space for the things that will elevate us. We have so much going on around us that it can hinder our ability to focus at times, but the people around us who care can help us when we go off course. Great friendships have a big impact on our mental health and can also relieve stress, provide a sense of belonging, and a major help in traumatic experiences.
It would be great for you to engage in some reflective thinking regarding your friends and colleagues.  You may discover you need to make a few changes for your own benefit. Sometimes a ship needs to adjust its sail on the journey and our lives can be like that.

We have to give ourselves permission every day to expand our world and rediscover our greatness. Permission to forgive and love ourselves and others no matter what! We also have to continue to find a way to serve humanity every day!
Let’s focus on this quote by Dai Lima : “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive” – as we continue to celebrate this beautiful journey called life BEYOND THE RUNWAY.