AS children grow they adopt their own personalities, even so it is still a parental duty to provide a moral compass and to teach values that will enable them to get by in the world, and so become law-abiding citizens who make worthwhile contributions to society.

Along with morals and values, resilience is an important quality that some parents know little about and therefore fail to instil in their children. Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties or mishaps in life. Whether we like it or not, children will face challenges along the way: Parents, however, have the opportunity to furnish them with problem-solving skills and a level of sanguinity so that challenges should never be able to break them.

Preparing children for life’s ‘ups and downs’ by fostering their resilience is a work-in-progress and something that we can continue to develop throughout our lives. Some children will face more traumas and disappointments in life than others and, regardless of how much they are protected and nurtured, parents cannot protect against or foresee everything that could go wrong.

Some calamities in life can actually help children become stronger and wiser. It will always be a healthier approach for children to experience both failure and success for them to learn how to adapt to unpredictable or unexpected scenarios or conditions.

Resilience does not mean giving in to situations or learning to tolerate circumstances of which you may disapprove. It is, in fact, a thought process that can be developed in children, to protect them against experiences that might otherwise be overwhelming. Building resilience can help to maintain balance in their lives during stressful times, and, as they grow, it can even help guard against some mental health issues.

Having the ability to adapt to things we cannot change is much harder than it sounds and bouncing back from trauma or tragedy can be difficult for most people. Although being resilient does not mean that a person will not encounter the same feelings and anguishes as others. It does, however, make the difference between which person triumphs over adversity and who is defeated by it instead.

Here are some tips on how to build resilience in children. Parents can start by letting their child know he has a loving supportive family that he can depend upon come what may. Helping children to be optimistic rather than negative in situations and teaching them to understand that most disappointments are temporary and manageable are also important factors in building resilience.

Read stories to young children that demonstrate resilience – stories where characters overcome adversities or struggles in life. Teach children how to be helpful to others, e.g. Teach them how to share, how to listen and how to be considerate, especially to those who are younger or less able to cope.

Try not to be overly accommodating to children, let them figure out some things for themselves. If a child is anxious about a situation, help him to explore and talk through the reasons for his anxiety and do what you can to reassure the child with positive affirmations. Do not sugar-coat the truth or create fanciful images such as super heroes or fairies to act as a buffer to reality: but choose your words wisely and always aim to appeal to a child’s sense of reason age appropriately.

Because it is impossible to eliminate all risks, parents can help their children develop applicable skills. Skills such as: focussing on one thing at a time; thinking things through before making a move and talking about problems to seek solutions. The aim is for children to feel confident enough to figure out what they need to do. So instead of approaching an unexpected circumstance as if it is an impending disaster, their first thought would be ‘I can handle this’.

It is of course hard for adults to build resilience in children if they, themselves lack resilience. Many adults act on impulse without summing up a situation.

They make rash decisions and lash out because of how they are feeling (at the time) then many spend years thinking about, or even regretting that one action that consequently haunts them or even led to them (perhaps) to be languishing in prison for decades.

Building resilience in children is something that should come naturally. There are, no doubt, parents reading this article, who have been doing the same for years, unbeknown. Because developing resilience is not a technical ability, it can be a quality that parents model and teach their children, through different incidents and opportunities that arise.

Resilient children are solution-based individuals who are prepared to handle (or at least have a go at handling) whatever life throws at them. It is a positive trait that parents can, not only nurture in children, but also cultivate in themselves.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com

A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY, MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION