THE telephone rang in the small police station. O.C. Sergeant Smartt picked up the pesky device. The hysterical voice of a woman assailed his sleepy ears. He had been sound asleep and was having a wonderful dream. Now this annoying voice had shattered that.
“What is your emergency?” he demanded angrily.
“Officer there is a robbery taking place in my street,” the woman said.
“Were any shots fired?”
“Yes Officer.”
“How did the shots sound? Pow! Pow! Pow! or Rat! Tat! Tat! Tat!?”
“Rat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat!” was the excited response.
That last bit if information had a strange effect on the old policeman. His hands began to tremble.
“Okay madam. We’re on our way!” he lied.
Both the woman and the officer hung up in relief.
“Constable Johnson!” The officer called.
“Yes Sergeant!”
“Unplug dat phone and lock de station gate!” he bellowed.
“Yes Sir!” The junior rank hurried to comply.
The next week another strange call came in. This time the sergeant was off duty and an eager corporal took the call.
“Officer, something bad happening to me neighbour!” the person said.
“What’s the problem madam?” the officer asked.
“Like robbers in me neighbour house. De family overseas so the house supposed to be empty. But ah hearing windows breaking and furniture moving. Like bandits trying fo clean out de place.”
“Don’t worry! We’re on our way.”
“A hope is not like last week when ah call and de police never turn up!”
She hung up in anger and Corporal Morgan hung up in astonishment.
Twenty minutes later a police 4 x 4 double cab Ford truck arrived.
The armed officers jumped from the vehicle and moved purposefully towards the dark house.
Rumbling, barging and grating sounds were coming from the double-storied home. The officers charged and engaged as one body. They then disengaged and had to flee as every man for himself.
As soon as they entered the house, all hell broke loose.
Licks rained down on the hapless crew. Cuffs, butts, kicks, slaps.
Pow!
Crack!
Ply!
Boof!
Bam!
They left in their wake handcuffs, hats, shoes and a few spectacles and watches. The patrol returned to the station to lick their wounds. By now they realised that they had unwittingly clashed with a baccoo or baccoos. From the lumps and bruises, they suspected that there was more than one spirit in the house.
When Sergeant Smartt returned to duty he was told about the incident.
“Never go into that kind of situation again!” he warned. “They don’t pay we fo get killed! Once is Jumbie or big guns, play sick or dead!”
The next night the good sergeant was on duty when a call came in.
“Good night Officer. Please come quick. Oh Gawd ah need help!”
“What’s the matter lady?” he asked rudely.
“Somebody pelting down me house and tumbling up de place!” she replied.
“Did you see anyone?”
“No I don’t see anybody. Help me please Officer!”
Sergeant Smartt took a deep breath before replying.
“Look lady, try calling a priest. Police can’t help you!”
He hung up.
When the sergeant put the phone down he hastily blessed himself by making the sign of the cross.
Looking around in fear he thundered for the junior rank.
“Constable Johnson!”
“Yes Sergeant!”
“Unplug dat dam phone!”
“Yes sir!”
“Constable how many times ah gon have to tell you to close de station gate after nine o’clock?”
“Sorry sir, it won’t happen again!”
“An when yo get back turn off dem lights in the front of de station!”
“Yes Sir!”
“Constable ah don’t want to be disturbed!”
“Yes sir! Will do sir!”
Sergeant Smartt withdrew for the night for a few hours of horizontal meditation.