By Gibron Rahim

“TO describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colours of a rainbow.”

The words above, as uttered by Maya Angelou, testify to the strength and resilience of women and of mothers. Those qualities are evident in mothers who also have formal careers or run their own businesses. Working mothers ever strive to maintain the delicate balance between profession and motherhood.

Leisa Gibson related to the Pepperpot Magazine that learning to find that balance is essential for mothers. She explained that children are keen observers of their parents’ actions. “Remember [that] they need your time just as the job needs your time so you have to balance it,” she said. The mother of two and a cosmetologist with 18 years of experience under her belt, who runs her own salon and now has a line of natural products she manufactures herself, noted she accomplishes balance by putting God first, followed by her family and then her business.

Maintaining balance is not without its challenges. Leisa pointed out that mothers are the last members of the household to go to bed. Completing remaining household chores and ensuring that the home is secure are familiar tasks on a mother’s checklist before retiring for the night. Leisa also recalled that she would take afternoon classes when her children were younger so that she could see her children off to school and complete her household chores. That strategy allowed her to obtain the training that put her on the path to success she is still on today at the same time she was effectively parenting.

STRIKING A BALANCE

The love she has for her three children and her job enables Paula Stevens to balance both. The strength she told this publication comes from wanting to give her children a better life than she and her husband had. She conceded that keeping both in harmony is sometimes a bit challenging. However, Paula noted that she has strived to create an environment where she can be a working mother and wife. Having her salon and boutique located at her house allows her to do just that. She explained that she cooks in the morning before going down to the salon while returning upstairs to take care of household chores between attending customers. “I wanted to be home when my children leave for school in the morning when they come home in the afternoon they must see me.”

Like Leisa, Paula acknowledged that maintaining balance is not without its challenges. She related that, though she always wants to be present for her children, sometimes the demands of work mean that she spends extended periods of time downstairs attending customers. And Paula’s work does not end once the salon closes. She still has to complete the remaining household chores and help with homework. “And sometimes when you get upstairs the children are sleeping,” she said. She recalled that her daughter would often do her homework in the salon when she was younger and often fell asleep there.

Paula ensures that she effectively mothers, regardless of how busy she is. “You still need to keep them [well] grounded,” she noted. She ensures that her two eldest children, who both attend university, are home after classes. Though she conceded that sometimes being a working mother gets tiring, Paula declared, “I was fortunate to be home and still provide.” She added, “They’re getting older now so the load is lightening.” Paula has been able to give her children a better life while also being there for them. She related that she did not have to worry that her children were left by themselves or with a babysitter. “I could watch them grow,” she said.

IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY
Anna Mohase Fox has always wanted a family and for that reason, balancing work and motherhood is very important. “I try my best in terms of getting a balance between my work life and my family life,” the mother of three said. “For me, my children are my greatest achievement.” She explained that it took her seven years before she was able to conceive, almost an impossibility as a result of injuries she had sustained in an accident. “It is my main priority to make sure that my family or my children come first,” Anna affirmed. She added that it was also important to her to show her daughters that a woman can achieve both career and motherhood in her life.

Anna prioritises her time in order to manage both her roles. She explained that she sets aside individual time for each of her children, in addition to family time. They call it “mommy-and-me time” and it allows Anna to nurture each child’s individual personality and interests. Having two jobs, including a career at the Guyana Forestry Commission for the last 14 years, makes managing her time more difficult but Anna has made it a rule to not work more than three extra days per week. “My weekends are always set aside for my children,” she said. “I ensure that I have time for them through time management and making them my main priority.”

Trying to provide her children with stability is Anna’s main challenge. She noted that, while her jobs ensure that her children’s basic needs are always met, her biggest challenge is filling both parental roles. She has been a single parent since losing her husband about three years ago so ensuring a well-rounded family life is one of her priorities. “Of course, they miss that father figure so I fill both roles of mother and father,” Anna related. Additionally, “setting a good example has also been always challenging because we are humans and we falter at times.” She always tries her best to set a quality example so that her children learn to be kind, caring and giving.

Maintaining the balance between work and family, Anna related, has made her a better person. “I’ve been able to view life from multiple perspectives,” she said. “I see my own importance in their growth and development and I try to play my part.” She added, “Personally I think it has shown me that life has more to it than job and career, you can have a fulfilling life on every level and aspect.”

INDEPENDENCE
Mother of one, Cobena King, noted that, though it is important to be financially independent, it is also important to maintain a balance between the two roles. She explained that it is vital to give one’s child enough attention in spite of the challenge it may present to a working mother. “It’s your responsibility,” she said. “A job is important but it’s not the biggest responsibility.” She opined that, for her, the child was the greatest responsibility. Cobena related that if she needs to stay at home for a day, or even a week, to take care of her child she would not mind.

Cobena’s son was ill just a few months ago and had to be admitted to the hospital. She and her husband took turns staying in the hospital with him. Since she is self-employed, making her own fruit juices to sell, Cobena was able to explain to her customers and take some days off. “It was more important to me,” the mother said of staying with her child. Cobena is already noting benefits from putting her son first – a little over two years old and attending playschool her son has already learned a lot due to the time she has spent teaching him. A better life and bright future for her child, and for any child that she can help, is Cobena’s hope.

There is no “right” way to mother. As the mothers above have shown, there are multiple ways to balance work and motherhood and be an amazing mother, as all these women surely are.