ON a casual afternoon, during a stroll with his father, Johnny enquired, ‘Dad, what can I do to ensure that my wife stays with me forever? Johnny’s father scoffed at this unwarranted inquisition from this ‘lil bai’ who, in his estimation, is miles away from such volcanic undertakings, but he quickly sobered up and decided to offer some masculine wisdom. He advised Johnny, ‘Son, there is nothing you can do, a relationship is a chance, it might work out, it might not, and you must plan for both scenarios. At this very impressionable age, Johnny was receptive to this word of advice from the only hero he knows. However, already in his teenage years, this boy had already been socialised with a mindset that would place him on a path to become another villain who could not walk away.

In his early childhood, Johnny was constantly reminded by all the males in the family: ‘Man is boss’, ‘Man run things’. This occurred in his home, as he proceeded outside, male chauvinism followed him. Playing with his friends in the ball park, he faced the worst humiliation when he was beaten by a female in a one-on-one basketball game. The ridicule he received from this emasculated occurrence was unparalleled and resulted in him not being able to eat anything of significance for two days. During this dark period, Johnny sobbed but could not reveal this to his friends– that would have been tantamount to social suicide. His early socialisation also included the usage of macho language that bordered on misogyny in reference to females: ‘Thing’ , ‘Meat’, ‘Beef’, ‘Bird’, ‘Dangles’, ‘Runnings’, ‘Shorty’. The aforementioned encapsulates the early-childhood experiences of Johnny that were unforeseen steps to his eventual descent into hell.

As he proceeded to secondary school, patriarchal regimentation continued as his teachers and the education system reminded him daily to “man up”: never cry, do not show emotions, don’t be too ‘girly’. The most conspicuous of this indoctrination came when Johnny got into a fight and decided to walk away and be the real hero. Having received so much condemnation for not walking away, he became for the second time in life, a subject of scorn and castigation for manifesting behaviour that society deems as ‘soft’. This heavy dose of patriarchism or man must always rule was dangerously mixed with a desire to always win and never lose, on a personal level. As a member of many sports teams in his secondary school, this disciplined and enterprising young man was taught to always emerge victorious, he was never trained to take defeat. This serves to capture Johnny’s social involvement at the second education level which, maybe unintentionally, prepared this young man to be another ignoble statistic.

In comes the tertiary years, university life. Between classes at the University of Guyana, Johnny ran into the most beautiful female he has ever laid eyes on in real life, not the social media types he has seen while scrolling on his phone, this was real. He declined to make any attempt to approach Mary, he was not sure that he could win. Winning for him meant receiving this girl’s hand in marriage and boldly claiming to the world; ‘This is me wife’. Mary was way too sophisticated for him to even contemplate ‘making a move’. This encounter passed and Johnny completed his university life without ‘hooking up’ with any female. He graduated and proceeded to a career he always wished to pursue. University life ended without there being any academic encounter that could have reversed a psychological outlook that regrettably placed unsuspecting Johnny on course to be another sad tale of the Guyanese society.

On a work tour, two years after graduating, Johnny ran into Mary for a second time. This time around, he matched her professionally, they were both in executive positions and Mary was a bit more receptive, so he made the step and invited her to dinner. They met in the wee hours of the night at an upscale restaurant. They discussed a myriad of issues over expensive wine and steak. Mary liked what she heard and saw. He claimed respect for God, his mom and his elders. He professed to be a man who protects and provides for his partner and demonstrated excellent dating mannerisms. He pulled her chair for her, he listened more than he talked, he told her she looked beautiful when she first arrived and at the end of the date, he showed no sign of aggressive sexual animus. All of these good things bode well for Johnny and he finally won the biggest contest of his life; Mary and Johnny were joined in union in grand fanfare. This union produced three children.

In complete disregard for his father’s sage advice, Johnny conceived his existence with Mary to be the beginning and the end. He had no life besides his kids and Mary. He had few friends whose interactions with him ended when he left work. Both Mary and Johnny became so consumed with work and the kids, they lost all communication and their relationship became routine, they only spoke when there was an issue such as bills or the kids. Mary constantly complained to her husband about the lack of connectivity to no avail. Johnny was resigned to his fate. For him, this was life and there was no need to rectify anything. Mary’s pleadings failed and she resorted to novels, lifetime movies and conversations with friends.

On another routine night, when Johnny brushed his teeth and retired to bed next to his wife and fell asleep within five minutes, he was rudely interrupted with fury from Mary. The rebellion had started, she attacked him verbally and woke the entire neighbourhood with noise. Johnny saw this as another run-of-the-mill marital disagreement. Little did he know, this was the beginning of the end. This rebellion included staying out late at nights, leaving kids unattended and disappearing for days with no communication. Mary had completely transformed, she wanted freedom. Johnny agonised over this unprecedented development and went into mild depression. He had nothing to do, all he did in life was to be married to Mary. In his mind, this was the ultimate loss, this was another shameful defeat coming at the hands of a female. All of his patriarchal teachings converged around this monumental life challenge. He could not reveal this defeat to society– not under any circumstance — nor could he walk away from another fight to face humiliation. Johnny decided to take on this battle to save his ego and when the commissioner of police announced the quarterly statistics for fatal victims of domestic violence, Mary, Johnny and the kids were included. Another sad case of the killer failing to walk away.