I have a little problem that has been going on for a long time. I have no feelings whatsoever for anyone or anything. I feel so numb it isn’t funny. Or rather I should say this is the face I show the world.I can’t even say I love you to my mom though I love her dearly. I can’t express my emotions to others at all. If I express my feelings, I’ll be hurt. A lot happened in my life to cause me to choose not to be emotionally involved.
My dad and I were close when I was younger, but after my parents’ divorce I never had a relationship with him. I was exposed to many physical encounters that were not appropriate for a child, but no one else knows about that and my family doesn’t understand me.
This affects my relationship with men and people in general. I am wounded at 21. I only seem to attract people who use and hurt me. I’m tired of holding in the pain, but I don’t know what to do anymore.
Christy

Christy, you know where you got lost. It was when you were molested. That needs to be dealt with now. None of us can live with a discrepancy between our interior world and the exterior world.
Numbness, emotional withholding, and the inability to say “I love you” are textbook signs of sexual abuse. Right now you think your problem is unique. If you knew others with your background, you would see how much you have in common.
The first step, and the most difficult, is finding a support group or individual working with people who have had your experience. When it occurred, you were too young and vulnerable to do anything about it. You tried to close the door on your pain. But closing the door on pain also closed the door on truth and happiness.
You have a right to breathe fully, to speak freely, and to live completely. You have a right to connect with others in an open and honest way. But harsh experience took those rights away from you. Finding your voice again will explain a lot to those close to you. Finding your voice will free you.
Someone once said: “If you weren’t scared, then you weren’t brave.” It is time to be brave and reclaim your birthright as a human being.
Wayne & Tamara