HOW many deaths have we had as a result of domestic violence? How many deaths have we read about involving spurned lovers? How many deaths have we seen for the year so far involving jealous lovers? The answer is, too many and that answer should tell us that this madness must stop right NOW!

But wait, didn’t we make that statement just awhile ago and women continue to die at the hands of these men? The answer comes back again, yes! Then there is something we are missing here, something they as women are failing to do. The missing link here stems from the women themselves. They are the ones who continue to allow these sick, sadistic, psychopaths to get away with murder.
Now some may readily condemn me for making the foregoing statement by saying how can he make that remark when women are the ones dying? Well, check out all, and I repeat all the cases where domestic abuse or a violent, possessive lover was involved and you get the chilling picture of the women either forgiving the men or hoping that they will change. Believe you me, dear readers, that is the situation.
Now prior to the most recent horror story of Zaleena Shaddick, there was the murder of another woman somewhere on the East Coast, I think it was at Goedverwagting where a violent ex-lover stabbed her no less than 14 times in broad daylight which led to her death. I am sure many of our women in abusive relationships read that story but continued to encourage the abusive men regardless. Now we have this horrible story of Miss Shaddick. The cycle of violence against women causes you to search your conscience and ask why? Why do these women allow this? Another answer comes up and that is some women are in the valley of denial that it will not happen to me (them). Let’s explore that scenario. One day a male student – let us call him ‘Johnny’ – came up to me and said: “Sir, I am not like Ron who does smoke I do not smoke” smoke there meaning the use of ganja. I was kind of taken aback by this sudden expression of innocence on his part. After all I never asked the youth if he smokes; then why should he come up to me so abruptly to make that confession? Come to think of it, the guy who confessed to not having drugs in his system was using drugs, hard drugs, marijuana as well as cocaine. He is now walking the streets of Castries sometimes stark naked as crazy as can be. Now many might be pondering the thought, where is he going with this story?
The point is this:many women still live in that denial mode that the next victim would be someone else; certainly it can’t happen to me. Wrong! It hasn’t happened to you yet, but it is going to happen sooner rather than later. The fact is clear. Once a beater, always a beater. That stark reality was evident in another case that took place in La Penitence when her maniac (that’s what she called the abusive lover which speaks to his sexual prowess) killed her. Women, stop thinking of his sexual excesses and deal with the abuse. You have to stop thinking with your heart, meaning your emotions, and start using your mind. It is the only way to put an end to this madness.
The sad cycle of violence would not stop when folks keep blaming everybody else but the women in these relationships. In the Shaddick case, her father and others concerned are blaming the police, the pilot, even the friend who transported the perpetrator to her home. Everybody else is responsible for her death but the victim herself. That father would never accept blame that he should have advised his daughter to sever ALL ties with that young man. Why did she go out “to speak” with that guy? Why was she in contact with him anyway? These are the tell-tale signs of women who say one thing and mean another and this is a serious problem that stands in the way of bringing this scourge to a halt. Women need to make full use of that which is available to them.
The law gives you ample protection against abusers; go take out a protective order and stick to it. That guy who butchered that young girl would have been easily dealt with if this was done. He would have been put behind bars for breaking the order. Harassing the young woman trying to get to her by phone calls would have been prime evidence in a court case to lock him away for a very long time. But here is the problem: many women when they learn of this quickly rescind their charge. They quickly change their course of action against him because they do not want him locked away, they do not want a situation where they cannot see him. Trust me they want to see him around and herein lies the bigger problem. He being aware of this indecisiveness  on her part could always step up the pressure with more abuse whenever he sees she is not complying with his wishes and this is a dangerous road they tread.

Once again ladies of Guyana I plead with you, get these sick men out of your lives. Take control of the situation now. Your life depends on it.