I AM A woman, 32, from an Asian Indian background. I recently met a guy, through a dating website, who is of the same racial origin, really nice, and has all the makings of a potential husband. I’ve been out on three dates with him, and they were all lovely. It is easy to talk to him, and we have things in common. But at the end of the third date, he kissed me –and I felt nothing.
Now I am starting to worry about (a) passing on a great guy because I don’t feel any physical attraction, and (b) settling for a guy who is ‘great-on-paper’, just because I don’t want to be alone anymore.
Am I simply over-thinking this, or can attraction evolve over time? Does familiarity not just breed contempt?
Alisha

Alisha,
Neuroscientist, Antonio Damasio once treated a man who was well-married, successful, and a good father — until he developed a brain tumor. Though surgery to remove the tumor was a total success, afterward, the man’s career was marred by a disastrous series of marriages and poor business decisions.
His mental ability seemed unimpaired, yet this man couldn’t make good decisions because he no longer cared about the outcome. Somehow, the surgery severed the connection between his emotions and his reason.
Feelings are an indispensable part of our makeup; without them, we have no compass. While love makes other things right, other things never add up to love. Don’t think you can go through life faking what you don’t feel, because love is what fulfills our lives.
Wayne & Tamara