When you find the person who loves you and whom you love, the relationship progresses at a certain pace. Instead of dwindling infatuation, the relationship moves with an enhancing, sweetening and deepening of feeling. The lustiness becomes lovingness, not wanting less of each other, but now wanting more; wanting to blend.
About your boyfriend, you say the things good people say. It’s nobody’s fault. But at 48, he was looking for marriage, and at 50, he is as confused as a 16-year-old? No. He’s renewing his option to string you along.
He has destroyed the romance; He’s made you feel, with sabre in hand, you are making him walk the plank. You are smart enough, bright enough, and in tune with yourself enough to know this is not the way it should feel.
What victory has his counsellor won for him? You are still involved. The counsellor wins and he wins, but… where is the win for you? No true love story begins with, “We went into couples counselling and, through intensive therapy, he decided to consider a timeline.”
He is 50, Savannah. How many Savannahs have there been in his 20s, 30s and 40s? He and his counsellor have given you the ‘gift’ of a timeline in exchange for more years of your life. The balance of gifts is out of whack.
When we lose the ability to point fingers, we are totally lost. It’s like having a compass where north alternates with south and east with west. Virtually everything in life has direction. You understand the direction of this relationship: Act on it.