monotropy is a word for the strong tendency humans have to be attached to a central person. That person is the one person in our lives we know we can always count on. Your husband’s problem is your behavior, which  says you are not that person for him. Though he wants to stay for the kids, he thinks, “My pain is so big, how could I stay?” He wants justice. That is why he contemplates a reverse cheat. He wants you to feel what he feels, even though that won’t restore what he once felt for you.

Some girls growing up in affectionless homes give indiscriminate sexual attention to every man in their path. If that describes you, professional helpers can give you understanding and aid in altering the pattern of your life.

You two need time out from each other. You need to seek help, not to save your marriage, but to understand your own behavior. He needs to decide his future, now that his sexual and social worlds are in shambles. In a twist of fate, your husband has learned one thing. Some men he thought were friends are actually vermin.