ONE OF my avid readers wrote in to tell me that not only does he become angry quickly but that he sees a lot of anger around him daily. He asked me to talk about anger and its possible management- which I am happy to do.

The truth is, anger is a normal and healthy emotion to feel; the problem is usually how we choose to deal with it. Since it is an essential emotion that we cannot escape, it would be beneficial for us to know how to properly cope with it.

Simply put, anger allows us to know what we like or don’t like. It allows us to find our own personal boundaries as well as allows others to truly know and understand these limits. It is a primary, natural emotion that doesn’t discriminate against age, gender or ethnicity. It has evolved as a survival and protection mechanism from what we consider to be wrong-doings.

However, it’s those that irrationally and unhealthily express their anger that gives it the bad reputation of being a “negative emotion.”
Everyone gets angry so how do we stop ourselves from going overboard and (worse case) committing crimes of passion? – that are very common in Guyana- especially among domestic partners.

There are different levels of anger. Mild anger is the stress and irritability typically caused when our basic human needs (food, shelter, sleep, sex etc.) are not met. More intense anger happens when we are reacting to other people’s frustration, criticism or threats. Anger can be expressed verbally and non-verbally; it’s usually clear to us when someone is truly heated.

Anger leads to aggression, typically leading to aggressive behaviours such as shouting/ cursing, insults/ name-calling, verbal threats or physical gestures.
Anger is generally individualistic which means what angers one person may not anger another but there are universal factors that may lead to anger. These range from anything from rudeness to being a victim of a crime.

When we don’t know how to healthily express our anger, it has the power to reduce our inhibitions, make us act inappropriately and say or do things we later regret. It’s first important to be able to quickly identify when we are angry.

It may sound like an easy thing to do but symptoms can be similar for different emotions. Some typical signs of being angry include shallow breathing or breathlessness, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, clenched fists, grinding teeth or clenched jaw, trembling /shaking or maybe even self-injury. If you recognise these symptoms as they happen to you, you are more able to control them and therefore your anger.

DO YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP WITH ANGER? ARE YOU UNSURE? IF SO, ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS.

1. Do you often have issues breathing when you feel upset?
2. Do you feel this way more than three times per week?
3. Do you have frequent arguments with those close to you?
4. Do you often verbally threaten people?
5. Are you physically violent towards your partner, children or other people?
6. Do you have violent outbursts which involve the destruction of property?
7. Has your behaviour caused any criminal or lawful issues?

If you’ve answered yes to more than 3 of these questions, I would advise you seek professional help to manage your anger.

WHAT CAN WE DO ON OUR OWN TO BETTER MANAGE OUR ANGER?
There are multiple breathing techniques that are very good for calming both the mind and body. I’m going to write on one but feel free to research any others if you find this one does not help.

These will reverse the physical symptoms that come with anger such as increased heart rate, blood pressure and tensed muscles.
Isolate yourself for about 10-15 minutes to try the following.

• Inhale and exhale deeply 3 or 4 times in a row.
• Count slowly to four as you inhale through the nose.
• Count slowly to eight as you exhale through the mouth.
• Focus on feeling the air move in and out of your lungs.
• Concentrate and feel your ribs slowly rise and fall as you repeat the exercise.
Stop and revert to normal breathing if you start to feel dizzy at any time.

When we choose to work on our anger, it does not mean we are internalising or suppressing it. It means we are finding a healthy way to express/ communicate it.

BELOW ARE MOSTLY PREVENTATIVE TIPS.
1. Get regular exercise and keep fit. We release cortisol and adrenaline hormones when we become angry. When we work out, our body learns to regulate these hormones while producing optimum levels of endorphins which makes us feel good and less likely to be stressed and angry.

2. Get better sleep. When we sleep, the body and mind rest and rebuild damaged cells. Good quality sleep- which is more than seven hours a night- will reduce physical, mental and emotional problems, including anger.

3. Plan difficult conversations. If you know you get upset easily and you have to have a hard/uncomfortable conversation ahead, plan it beforehand. Make notes on the right things to say. This will make you more in control of the situation. It also makes way for better communication.

4. Try not to hold grudges. We all need to accept that everybody is different and that we cannot control the feelings, beliefs or behaviours of others. I, myself have difficulty with this one. Try to be realistic and accept that people are the way they are, not how we would like them to be. Being resentful or holding a grudge against somebody will increase your anger and make it more difficult to control.

5. Identify what made you angry in the first place- your triggers. Was it a particular person, place or thing? Was it something that you could have avoided?

6. Ask yourself the following questions. ‘Is this situation as bad as it feels right now?’, ‘What concrete evidence do I have?’, ‘Can I refocus my attention on what I like about this situation or individual?’, ‘Is it possible that I misunderstood or was misunderstood?’, ‘Am I taking the other person’s situation/ point of view into consideration?’

Overall, it is important to remember that holding on to or unhealthily expressing anger destroys our peace of mind. It makes our bodies/mind tense and uncomfortable. With less anger in life, we will be less stressed, more relaxed and of course happier. We humans are lucky enough to be able to choose how to feel and behave; choose healthier ways of expressing our feelings, always!

Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com or come in to see me at:

Georgetown Public Hospital: Psychiatric Department:
Monday- Friday – 8am- 12pm
Suicide Prevention Helpline numbers: 223-0001, 223-0009, 623-4444, 600-7896

Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always