The Liesl Dale Headley story
THE TASK of caring for her beloved mother who suffers with Alzheimer’s disease (AD) is not the easiest thing in the world for 44-year-old Liesl Dale Headley. She, nevertheless, deems it “a privilege” to care for her mother, because her mother has always been a remarkable woman to her and everyone else.
Liesl Dale Headley was born to Hector and Rose Headley, whom she calls “excellent parents,” and was raised in Georgetown. From the time her mother was diagnosed with AD, 11 years ago, Liesl has never shirked her “obligation” to care for her mother’s needs, and those of her father.
“Do not wait until Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to honour your parents; whether they looked after you or not, they are still your parents. The fact that you exist means that you had to have had two parents,” she told the Chronicle in an interview.
It is heart-rending for Liesl to see her once jovial and outgoing mother sitting motionless. Liesl doesn’t even know if her mother, now 76, understands what is going on around her, and if, when she speaks to her, she hears and understands.
The actual cause of AD remains unknown. However, what is known is that the disease involves the gradual destruction of brain cells, so that parts of the brain may literally shrink. The parts worst affected are those involved in memory and thinking ability.
“She’s at the point where she cannot say what is happening to her, or how she is feeling,” Liesl told the Chronicle as she recalled how her mother gradually went from forgetting small things, like her keys or Bible, to the point where she could no longer remembers where she was going. As her situation worsened, she found it hard to cook and do chores around the house. She even had to be prevented from leaving the house on her own.

Not single
Liesl recognises that she cannot do everything on her own. It takes a great deal out of her to care for Mrs. Headley in the right way, and in accordance with the family’s high standards. Moreover, she cannot depend on her dear father, who is now 75 years old, and whom she described as “a most distressed mate.” To see his cherished wife of 52 years in that state saddens him. It’s an emotional time for him in so many ways.
So, not being able to do it on her own, and unable to rely on her dad, Liesl has had to employ a day-nurse and a night-nurse to ensure that her mother is given attention on a 24-hour basis. This comes with its own challenges, because trustworthy and reliable persons are not always easy to find to take up the work.
“And you don’t always have people who work by our standards. Sometimes you feel invaded and stressed out, because you have a lot of people in your home who are not your relatives, and at the same time, you have to treat them well because they are looking after someone precious to you,” Liesl explained.
A full eight hours’ sleep at night is now impossible for Liesl. “I can’t sleep like dead ever, because I know I have a sick. And sometimes I hear her groaning, and when I look, the night help is fast asleep. And you can’t blame them, because night make to sleep, and it is my mother. So I would start to deal with her, and then they would join.”

Missing mom
Liesl misses her mom’s advice, hearing her voice, and receiving her input in everyday affairs. “Normally, she remembers and takes care of the bills. Though dad and I would forget, she gets them out of the way. She had an order with her,” Liesl recalled.
Now, the longest vacation Liesl can ‘run away’ on is ten days; and even if that were possible, she has to ensure she leaves enough money to pay the workers and maintain the house. “So my vacation is not only about saving for it, but saving to maintain the house, too. I normally tell people I am not single; I have twins,” she laughs.
From what she knows about the disease, Liesl says there is nothing that can stop its progression, but she recalled the words of a doctor who informed the family that aluminum has a lot to contribute to it. “In fact, many people use aluminum cookware, and eat with it. After we learned that, we changed our cookware to stainless steel.”
Mrs. Headley is fed as healthy a diet as is possible, with doctors sometimes being unwilling to believe she is sick. Her skin would always look so immaculate, Liesl says. “We have to think for her. Each day, I put out an allotment of water for her, and see to it that it is finished. She has to drink something after every three hours in the night, and we have to change pampers just like a baby. Also, she has to be taken for a checkup every six months.
“At no time can you just be free-for-all and carefree. There are things that have to be done, or there are consequences that come with them. I have to keep a rigid schedule; I have to be orderly. The minute I stop being orderly, I am in trouble.”
Liesl never fails to talk to her mom each day, even though she cannot get a response. “I talk to mom every day; I don’t know if she hears me, but I talk with her. She is my friend. I sing for her. I have done all in the books and more.”

Exemplary
Liesl feels a deep sense of gratitude towards her parents. “My parents were two excellent parents, and they set excellent examples. I can’t ever remember being treated unkindly by them. They set an example in being kind, and therefore deserve the same kind of treatment,” Liesl feels.
Despite having seven children, Liesl’s wonderful parents still found time to be kind to others. Mrs. Headley, especially, would always have the kids visiting the hospitals to take food and other items for the sick.
“I think it would be terrible and ungrateful on my part to just leave her,” Liesl says, adding that she views it a privilege to be able to take care of her parents. “These two people need me, so I can’t afford to be sick; and I am always careful when I am on the road, to avoid accidents. They looked after us, and now it is my time to do the same.”
To care for the family materially, Liesl practises colon hydrotherapy and massage therapy. Colon hydrotherapy has to do with cleansing the large intestines, the last part of the digestive system, while the massage therapy includes lymphatic drainage, breast massage, Swedish massages to help with stress, etc, and those to deal with pain.
Liesl is apparently the only local practitioner of this type of work at present.