‘You don’t have to give birth to a child to have a bond’

AS we celebrate yet another Mother’s Day with flowers, photos and gifts of love, mothers everywhere reflect on what motherhood means to them. From working mothers who have mastered motherhood’s balancing acts to new moms finding their footing, the maternal journey is truly special. Although challenging, it is also among the most rewarding. Most mothers say that there is no better feeling than seeing the children they raise become successful, beautiful people to be proud of. This Mother’s Day, the Pepperpot Magazine pays homage to all mothers everywhere. And whereas everyone’s story is unique, this week, we look at a story that blends a few aspects of motherhood.

Motherhood in many forms
After Marisa Seenarine had her first taste of motherhood at 18, filled with love and an undying passion for children, she had three other children of her own. But there still remained within her, a need to do more. Almost a decade ago, Marisa adopted her first child, a baby. Since then, she has fostered many children and made the brave decision to adopt three other children. She admits that there are challenges, especially emotional trials. However, throughout her experiences, it may be hard to understand or even care for a child from the system. But to Marisa and her family, creating a bond was never the issue.

Building Her Family
To most people, looking at Marisa and her team of eight children, they may be more reminiscent of a class of children than a family. But that is exactly what they are. Today, Marisa has four biological children and four adopted. Marisa has dedicated most of her life to caring for children. Her motherhood story began with the birth of her first son at 18. As she explained, “My pregnancy was a secret. Not even my parents knew. I was so terrified because of my mother. I thought my mother would have killed me. So nobody knew I was having a baby until I went into labour.”

Love at first sight.
After giving birth to four boys, Marisa felt as though there was more she could and should do. Already having moved through the motions of motherhood, challenges with discipline and postpartum depression included, having another child seemed like a ludicrous idea. But to Marisa, the little girl she found out was left at New Amsterdam Hospital was in need, and she was ready to help.

She met with the mother of Alyssa, the first child she adopted when she was just a few days old.  “I heard of this child that was left at New Amsterdam Hospital. When I got to find out who the mother was, I actually was familiar with the mother. It was a small world. So I went, and I looked for her. And I spoke to her, and I asked her. I said, if you don’t want her, then why don’t you give her to me? And everything just happened. I was driving with my sister, and I’m like, am I crazy? Who’s going to give me their child?”

But they did, and just a few months later, Marisa became the mother of a healthy baby girl. Today, Alyssa is eight years old, and they have a relationship as strong as any. Over time, Marisa has become the mother to three other children, including, eight-year-old Dayna, a young man named Ravin, and the family’s most recent addition, a 13-year-old girl named Yogeeta. Marisa’s older sons have also taken well to the new additions to the family.  Hayden, Marisa’s oldest son, who still lives with her, has taken great pleasure in the family’s new additions and crafted a unique relationship. Marisa shared that it is a long process to integrate into a family like hers. But she eventually found all the bits and pieces and made it work for her family.

Don’t Judge a book by its cover
Marisa has started a small online group for people who would like to adopt in Guyana, and she has even worked with numerous families throughout their journey. To Marisa, caring for a child in a difficult position is one of the most unique feelings. She shared that her love for all her children has developed with time, not with shared genetics, but with pure admiration. She urges Guyanese everywhere to consider adoption. She assures parents that a child is still a child regardless of their age. And this is not something that should stop people from adopting. Marisa continues to work with multiple orphanages across Guyana, spreading the positivity of adoption and foster care.

As she stated, “I know many people call, and the first thing I would ask is, what is the age range you look at? If there are 100 persons on that waiting list, 99 of them are waiting for newborns. You don’t need a newborn to have a bond. For me, I would say that don’t judge by age. We look at people, and we judge them by the way they look. Their attitude and their behaviour. I don’t want them to judge a child by that or even by age.” A mother’s love is truly unique. It breaks the barriers of all challenges, and at the end of the day, a mother’s love is the only sure thing most of us have. So give your mom her flowers, and reignite that special bond this Mother’s Day.