Dear Editor,

A delegation of 14 African Americans is set to descend upon Guyana’s capital city in search of discrimination, marginalisation, and displacement as outlined during Rickford Burke’s “Washington Conference.”

In a strongly worded press release, the group said: “Mission is fueled by a deep-rooted belief in the fundamental rights and dignity of every individual, regardless of their race or background. With a keen determination to address these pressing issues head-on, the delegation will leave no stone unturned. They aim to gather comprehensive and reliable information, engaging with local communities, organisations, and government officials.”
Further, it informed that the mission aims to “thoroughly” assess the validity of the allegations and to provide insight on whether Guyana’s PPP/C Government is in adherence to democratic norms and the rule of law.

I, for one, am betting that this delegation will find evidence. For whenever in the history of the Afro man has he gone seeking evidence of racism, discrimination, marginalisation, just plain old ‘keepin’ the brothers down! And failed to find evidence?

This would be a travesty and could get their ‘race card’ suspended or even revoked! It is in this vein I offer some tips to the delegates on where to best find the required evidence.
It would be best to start at a weekly gathering of the oppressed, usually organised by code words: All White Fete, Outside, Inside, Toga Party, and even the transparent All Black Party.
At these gatherings, the delegates can have meaningful conversations with persons on a mystical level aided by a mind-altering cocktail of Henney, Red Bull, Moet, Ciroc, and Marijuana.
That these gatherings often take place in public spaces in residential neighbourhoods will provide ample evidence of the police force’s disregard for laws; the music plays at unbelievably high levels, goes into the daylight hours, and contains explicit lyrics, undoubtedly the biggest crime of all is the faux Jamaican accented DJ’s who are allowed to shout inanities unfettered … unnuh big up unnuh self!

The delegates will also be feted by the President (also guilty of Jamaican DeeJaying) and entourage; a smorgasbord of races, genders, ethnicities, and generally strange people, regulars include NSA Gerry Gouveia a local expert on race relations, I expect the President’s Media guru will be kept in the Kit-chen, well away from the guests, as he is not known for fostering better relations between races, genders or farm animals.

At this soiree one can expect to ‘bump’ into the only Guyanese to win an oil block at the recent auction; I do hope the delegation questions them as to their apparent gender bias.
At some point the delegation will be entertained by the Washington Conference Crew; this crew has provided entertainment for the Guyanese public for many years and I do not doubt that their tales of woe will be another night of delight.

David Patterson can regale one for hours on the health benefits of gold bangles worn on the left wrist and how much you fun can have in Macau with 10,000 courtesy of MARAD, all of these rights are now being denied by people who voted him out of office; Cathy Hughes will dumbfound delegates when they learn that her company (Megavideo) no longer gets contracts from the government now that she is no longer a Minister! Discrimination 101!

Amanza Walton-Desir will dazzle with her wit, charm, and mathematical sorcery; Christine’s kids’ minibus expenses need a delegation of its own to unravel.
The delegates will be expecting much from Leader of the Opposition Aubrey Norton, but may be disappointed as he is more interested in getting a raise in pay as LOP and more money for his office; not a man of many words or deep thoughts is our Aubrey.

Editor, all of this investigation will come down to perspective. For example, will the delegation decide that people don’t flock to Norton on his walkabouts because they are intimidated, or is it they don’t know when he is around, who he is or find him generally insipid?

As I said, Guyanese can expect a report that says we are a racist, intimidating, non-law abiding nation, but I wonder if the delegates will see who’s doing the discrimination… all in all, I welcome the delegation to Guyana and, in the immortal words of Amna Ally say to them “Bring it on.”
Sincerely,

Robin Singh