Not too long ago, I spoke to a friend in front of his home, and within two weeks, I picked up the phone and was told that he had suddenly died. I was taken back. We were all part of a friendly gym in Bent Street called ‘Muscle Craft’ courtesy of Ronald Mohan’s bottom house, right next to where Sound Dimensions Band practiced. Ronald was my Insurance agent of possibly one of the best family Insurance institutions at the time-American Insurance on Waterloo Street.

Muscle Craft was mostly a keep-fit gym, for guys and ladies who now had families and couldn’t afford the luxury of competitive ‘bodybuilding’ but had evolved in the awareness of respecting their ‘temples‘ as I had insisted the body is. Now this brother had passed, and we informed those abroad, but when ‘we’, myself and another gym member, sat in the church, something dawned on us as we listened to the tributes. His accommodation of grandchildren and relatives spoke of the giving nature of this brother. We looked at each other, and later when the ceremonies were over, we contemplated how this brother, who still maintained an in-house exercise routine survived.

A physical failure during one such routine was mentioned, but we weren’t told how it was localised and whether medical help was sought. He was not a ‘nouveau riche’ or of a wealthy inheritance, so how and what did this brother eat? How did he look after his health? With dependents at the table, we summarised from how ‘we’ were facing economic times. This brother was over his head, just being nice, which can also include the smiles from the ladies next door. But obviously, the nicer you are, it’s easier for offspring and folks to shift some of their responsibilities to you if you don’t want to be slandered as the ‘mek-up’ mean selfish bad person. Because you defied the intruding ‘entitlement’ scheme, then ‘Cat ketch yuh dinner’.

This is a serious issue, “entitlement” which, if not taken seriously, can lead to abuse and murder, as it has in some cases. Culturally we are disposed to help friends and relatives, but help and round-the-clock responsibilities have different interpretations. Where did it start? It was there all the time. Once the hard lessons and early covenants are not spoken off and projected, human need matures into a phase of unreasonableness. Entitlement comes from many sources. The discussion my father and Godfather had with me went like this, “Regardless of the exams yuh pass, you must know a trade that could earn yuh bread and butter and house yuh in any emergency.”

I will present a recent issue of entitlement that was related to me. “A man owned a home, had children, and when they matured, left for abroad. Some of his children had left before. His local daughter and her husband later came to occupy his home. He came home for a holiday, now retired, and his main room was always supposed to be left unoccupied. After some time, his daughter called her sister overseas and complained that her husband thinks that they (overseas) should send a ticket for the father because he was occupying the children’s (his grandchildren’s) room. The sister called their elder brother, who is also overseas, relating the issue, the brother called the brother-in-law and his sister and told them in the most unpleasant way to get out of his father’s house, or he would have to “come home!”

The man was not even aware that he was trespassing in his own home. Entitlement is not a reasonable state of mind. It can be brutal. And there are numerous expressions. The answer may rest with allowing people to know at an early age that becoming a parent is a lifelong responsibility. I was told that. My mom gave birth to ten of us. I fathered three children. I was jerked into another reality when my Godparents passed and I lived with my mother and siblings for a period before I moved on, evolving into a type of survivalist maturity at 16. There was no entitlement, but rather that I had to adjust by the best means available to shape and establish my manhood; thank god I had the early nurturing of home life and how to recognise and create through learning, a selected niche, despite the environment.

A culture, a parent or a guardian can also unwittingly develop a creed of entitlement. The Creole term for that is ‘Spoil Child-children’ De better than dem syndrome, and the deceptive ‘shirt Button’,‘I’ first Producing beings who cannot empathise, thus cannot holistically lead, nor develop a grounded vision beyond self entitlement. This is a current topic, that we must expand on.