By Shaniya Harding

THERE were a lot of tears as four mothers shared their experiences on what motherhood means to them and the challenges they’ve faced but have never shared. On this Mother’s Day, we celebrate the women who made us who we are.

From moms who work as firefighters and teachers, to stay-at-home mothers, and those who do both, this article will take a look at motherhood from different perspectives and under different situations. The Pepperpot Magazine spoke to mothers with very different stories. But one sentiment remained the same, being a mother isn’t easy, but it is what these women do, and they do it with love.

A mother to many
Today, at first glance Lakshmi Preshad seems to have lived a quiet life — being a senior teacher at Parafait Harmony Primary School with 25 years of experience and having a husband and a 22-year-old son who is an aspiring agronomist finishing his last year at the University of Guyana. But her story of motherhood, sacrifice and being a mother figure to many children over the years, is remarkable.

During the early 2000s, Lakshmi was teaching during the day, going to the Teacher’s College in the afternoon and caring for her son while his father wasn’t there. She described this as the most challenging period of her life and one of the most memorable times she had with her son. These memories, however, are not all the happiest ones. “It was just me and him balancing everything,” she explained. For Lakshmi, leaving her son was a hard sacrifice, but it was a necessary one. “I would leave him at home alone to go to college. But I had to say to him, “You need a better life, and this is what I have to achieve.” Looking back now, Lakshmi says that these experiences have brought her and her son closer. She explained how even in the hardest of times, she was always open and honest with her son, never shielding him or lying to him about how things were.

The mother and teacher went on to share how motherhood, for her, went far beyond the home. Although never having a biological daughter, she has been a maternal representation for many young girls. “ Being a mother does only mean being a biological mother. Being a mother means having an interest in children, and showing them that interest so they can share their love with you. If you don’t show interest and love to a child, they will never show love and interest in you,” she said. Going on, she reminisces on all the children she’s taught over the years; she has produced construction workers, teachers like herself, writers, and persons who have gone on to be in many other professions, with the love and attention she has shown and the role of mother she played to many who didn’t have one.

The firefighter mom
Taking down fires for more than 10 years and raising a daughter for more than 17, Tiffany Webster is a prime example of the lengths a mother would go to make herself a role model for her child. Becoming a mother at the age of just 18, she was forced to make difficult choices. And she was now in charge of not only her future but the future of her daughter.

As much as she enjoys her job today, the job of a firefighter was one she began because it was available, Tiffany told The Pepperpot Magazine. The job of being a mother, however, was far from optional. She recalled how she felt when she first became a mother, saying, “I was overwhelmed. Because I wanted to be the best parent that I could for her.” This, she said, led her to the decision to go to university. Today she holds a diploma in social work, a degree in psychology and is on her way to gaining her master’s. All this while her daughter was going to school and is now completing her own diploma in Communications.

And although they’ve both come a long way, she shares how it was no easy task going to university with her daughter.“One of my biggest challenges was that I had to juggle my daughter with me and back. We even got robbed a few times,” she revealed. However, she stated that many happy moments were shared between her and her daughter. “Every moment that my daughter breathes and I look at her is a memorable moment, [including] her first graduation, seeing her crossing her first milestone and accomplishing something bigger and greater.” When asked how she felt today, looking back, she said she felt proud, that her best was enough for her daughter.

A never-ending job
Thirteen years have found Somattie Seopersad, also known as Mala, like many other mothers carrying both her sons to and from school. Being a housewife and a mother for over 15 years, the job women like her do is often under-appreciated. She has dedicated her life to her family, leaving behind all other hopes she had for herself with the birth of her children. She describes it as a 24/7 job, with no days off or vacation period and one that will never end.

Nonetheless, she made a choice that not many would have. She decided to dedicate her life to being a mother. She stated how she gave up many pleasures in life for the sake of her children and, even more so, all the hope she had for herself. “I had to drop and adapt because I was now a mother. And eventually, I got used to it. Because I told myself, this is what I have to do because I am a mother now,” Somattie said. When asked about how she feels about her decision and her sons today, she said, “Now I love my job. They make me proud from time to time, doing good in school, being good children, being good human beings.”

Schooling, she said, was the hardest task in parenting for her. “ Going and coming every day to and from school. When asked about her keeping on top of the chores and caring for her children, she said, “I have a timetable, a timetable in my brain. I wake up at this time, and I cook at this time.” And although her eldest son is 16, challenges with them continue and as the child changes, so do issues with them. She described how her son as a child was a handful, but today like many teens, he tends to shut her out. She stated, however, “ Most times I get shut out, but I push with him. Because I am the mother.”

Keep going
Sunita Bessair, a mother of six, wears a contagious happy smile that holds both her family together and the struggles she went through. With two boys and four girls ranging from 32 to 12, she has spread herself thin, working both at home and at work, over the years. As she narrated how she worked to support her family, she said they are things she would have done differently, and there are challenges she faced and continues to face.

One child is a challenge, as any parent could tell you, but six children over 32 years while working is a superhuman task. And it is one that this woman has managed to do and is still doing. When her first child, her son, was born, she said that that period of her life was simpler and easier. Now with the birth of an additional five, things have, naturally, become more complex. When asked what was her hardest period of motherhood, she said, “Right through. Since I started having children, up until now, is hard,”

If there is anything Sunita would like people to know about the job of being a mother is that it isn’t easy, and you must always be there for your children. “You have to go through a lot ….” Going on she emphasised how she always continues to be there as a mother even when it seems as though she isn’t needed. Nevertheless, Sunita says her happiness comes from her children.“When they’re happy, I’m happy.” And if there is any message he would like to leave with mothers, who, like herself, may be struggling, it would be to “keep going”.

Today mothers everywhere look back and marvel at all they experienced and the adults they have moulded to contribute to society. And although Mother’s Day is a day for all mothers, they clearly deserve more. So today, give your mother a break, and allow her to recapture the part of herself that may be lost in dedicating herself. Allow her to do things she has always wanted to, tell her you love her and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.