HAVE you ever noticed that little voice inside of you? The one that reminds you of your childhood self? We may think of ourselves as adults because we have reached a certain age. The truth is, we all carry wounded children within ourselves caused by simple or complex trauma, emotional neglect, or physical abuse. And often, we don’t notice the inner child and cover-up all our childhood traumas by being busy in our lives.
Caring for this inner child of ourselves holds the key to feeling safe and experiencing freedom and creativity in life.

What does healing your inner-child mean?

We all were children at one time, and those children within us don’t simply disappear. They become a part of our subconscious or sub-personality as we grow up. The inner child gets activated when all your memories of traumatic childhood experiences come flooding when you are faced with challenges in life. Unless you intentionally acknowledge and process those repressed emotions, your childhood self will take the lead in your life.

Healing your inner child is the journey of self-discovery going within ourselves to become aware, acknowledge and access those repressed childhood experiences and emotions so that you find and heal the root issues as an adult.

When you start working on your inner child, you go back in time emotionally and mentally to understand how your inner child feels from an adult’s perspective. By doing so, you untangle the coping mechanisms that your younger self came up with to protect yourself from trauma and the one that you are still holding onto as an adult, even though the trauma is in the past.

We as humans experience suffering, but we all get to grow through and out of the suffering. Getting in touch with your inner child and nurturing the child is a powerful way to do it.

How to heal your inner child?

As adults, still some of us try to find someone out there to comfort our inner child, that perfect partner, a friend, or a spiritual community. But all these are going to be only a temporary solution. When that person does something that’s not on your agenda, old wounds resurface, and you go back to suffering. Inner child work will allow you to consciously work with your trauma, reparent yourself, and give yourself the required loving attention to heal.

Inner child work is often done with the guidance of a professional psychologist or therapist. However, if your trauma is simple or not too heavy, you can do a lot of the work on your own. Remember, if you are dealing with complex trauma, it’s important to seek professional help. Here are some of the steps to start working with your inner child.

Awareness of the inner child:
The first step in connecting with your inner child can be very practical. It involves increasing your awareness of your childhood. Try to gather as many details as you can about your childhood, what you did, where you spent your time, what you enjoyed, and how was it like for you. Talk to your family and childhood friends to understand your childhood experiences. The more you immerse yourself in your childhood experiences, the more you will become aware of the feelings and unmet needs from that period.

Connect with the inner child:

Do you have harsh self-criticisms and self-talk such as “I’m unworthy”, “Something is wrong with me” or feeling inadequate? These are some examples of how our inner child communicates with us regularly. Still, we often overlook these messages as we are caught up in our busy lives.

The best way to access and connect with your inner child can be through self-discovery practices such as meditating and journaling. Let me guide you through one such visualisation practice here.

Sit in a comfortable, quiet space and close your eyes. Let’s start with a deep breath in and a deep breath out to centre yourself. Now imagine or visualise your child self around the age of the trauma. As you bring up the image of your child self, increase your awareness of the child and its surroundings. Notice everything about the child, the actions, the body language, expressions, the place, and the people around him/her. More the details you tune into, the easier it is for you to empathise with your inner child.

As you can see your child self, you can ask some of these questions,
? What is the child feeling at that moment?
? What is the child thinking?
? What do you think the child needs from you?
? What is the child judging, blaming themselves for?
? What do you think you could say or do to support the child?

Asking these questions, makes your inner child feel cared for and loved, which is required for healing.

Nurture your inner child:
You can continue on your previous visualisation exercise to provide for the needs of your inner child. Nurturing is basically to give the inner child what it needs the most, and, as a child, our two basic emotional needs are safety and unconditional love.

As you ask questions and identify the needs of your inner child in the previous step, you can now meet those needs by giving a hug or any loving gestures in your visualisation exercise. You can also nurture your inner child through positive self-talk. Talk to your inner child and tell it what it needs to hear. By doing so, you spark the feelings of safety and love that your inner child desperately needs.

Remember, your inner child is listening and what you practice grows stronger.

Final thoughts:
Your wounded inner child can sabotage your adulthood experiences, and by healing your inner child, you can resolve the issues in adult life. You can do that by providing loving attention and loving presence to your inner child that you wish you had received as a child. Thank you for reading! You can always reach out to me(Anju Vivekanandaraj, MSN., MSc(Clinical Psy), Registered Clinical Psychologist) for any professional help in dealing with trauma or other psychological issues at (+592)6139255. Kindly send in your feedback and questions at innerpeacegy@gmail.com