TOO often it seems as though we are angered or saddened by the horrific violence meted out to women and young girls, often when this violence has become fatal, and then we forget that there are predators living amongst us until the next breaking news surfaces.

In Guyana, over 210,000, or three out of every five women have experienced some form of violence, either sexually or physically according to the Minister of Human Services and Social Security, Dr. Vindhya Persaud.

As part of efforts to combat this scourge, a 914 emergency number was launched for specifically domestic, sexual violence victims in November. Last year, it was reported that domestic violence victims can approach the courts directly if they are not receiving professional assistance from the Guyana Police Force (GPF).

Recently, 28-year-old Amrita Rahim, a mother of three, was stabbed by her husband. It was reported that the woman was involved in an argument with her husband and before long, that argument turned deadly when he took a knife and stabbed her. Unfortunately, neither the 914 tool nor the avenue of approaching the courts saved her.

The murder of Rahim is not an isolated one. There are countless reports of women being beaten and killed by their partners and it is dishonest to treat each case as though it were an isolated occurrence rather than a symptom of inequities.

It has been reported that since March, when this pandemic began, there has been a surge of domestic violence cases. Some contend that the financial dependence of women in the household (because you know, housework is an unpaid full-time job) and lower employment exacerbated the vulnerabilities of women.

Consideration should be given to the great sense of responsibility that women have towards their families, particularly their children In my almost four and a half years as a journalist, I’ve listened to countless women explain that they stayed in abusive relationships “for the children.”

But violence isn’t unique to mothers in the home. Sanesha Lall, a 16-year-old child, was stabbed to death by a grown 34-year-old man. I saw the news of her death via Facebook, where local news agencies posted the breaking news. They reported that it was her “jealous ex-boyfriend” or her “jilted lover” who stabbed her 20 times.

This man was not ever her boyfriend or her lover. At more than twice her age, he couldn’t have been anything else but a paedophile. No, the “age of consent” argument cannot be used here because, according to reports, he had been involved with her for two years. He preyed on a vulnerable young girl and eventually took her life.

It isn’t difficult for me to condemn this paedophile and murderer. What is difficult is getting people to understand that we have to stop normalising predatory behaviour (that is, “big man who like lil gyuls”) and we have to stop casting blame on vulnerable young girls (evidenced through comments like: “wuh she doing with a big man?” and “is big man she want”).

I personally feel as though these attitudes and behaviours corner women and young girls into keeping silent. This silence is often only broken when something drastic happens, such as when a paedophile goes berserk and stabs the young girl 20 times. If we keep blaming young girls for falling prey to predatory men, instead of blaming men for their predatory behaviours, we discourage them from speaking out.

I write this with much conviction because I know what it feels like to be a young girl who believed that it was better to stay silent and not be blamed for anything, even when I was faultless. There is a pervasive culture of silence in Guyana which helps to empower predatory, murderous men. Exacerbating this is that by victim-blaming instead of culprit-blaming, we embolden these men.

Our access to the 914 hotline is a great tool, but how else are we trying to combat domestic violence? What support mechanisms exist for women and young girls? I know there are quite a few organisations and bodies filled with people who work tirelessly to ensure that they can provide assistance to these vulnerable people.

If we can’t support them in tangible ways, at the very least, we could support them by speaking out at the first sight of violence and reaching out to the relevant authorities. We can also help destroy this culture of ours which casts blame on the vulnerable and the victims.

If you would like to discuss this column or any of my previous writings, please feel free to contact me via email: vish14ragobeer@gmail.com