SOME mothers know that their children are systematically sexually abused, yet they do nothing to prevent it. Failure to protect a child from sexual molestation is a criminal offence, punishable by law. If you are living in the same household, yard or environment where this atrocious act takes place, as an adult, you are not only liable to be prosecuted, but in some cases, you are a co-conspirator.

Some mothers might feign ignorance and make up several excuses about why they were unaware of the abuse. Still, their ‘care of duty’ is to know, ask questions, find out, interrogate, pry, and investigate EVERYTHING surrounding the supervision, control and well-being of their offspring or children in their care. Any level of suspicion or doubt surrounding sexual or inappropriate activity is a level and a doubt too many; action to protect the child at all costs and without hesitation must immediately ensue.

But how can a mother live in the same house and share the same bed with a man that she suspects or KNOWS is sexually abusing their (his/her) daughter? How can she sleep with this knowledge? How can she believe that it is normal and will not adversely affect the child? Mothers who live this type of existence have minimal self-worth or foresight and similarly estimate their daughters’ outcomes to be the same.
These mothers fail to consider the fact that children do not forget their childhood, and one day the child will be an adult who can see the role that everyone played or failed to play in his/her youth. Many adults live with the pain and trauma associated with childhood sexual abuse and others while finding the courage to confront their parents, will never be able to forgive them. The trauma of abuse can leave an adult feeling fear, pain and intimidation, where there should be intimacy, pleasure and choice.

It sometimes takes a while for the victim to realise that he/she was groomed and violated in the most personal way possible, by an adult whom he/she trusted. When this happens, it can play havoc with the victim’s ‘peace of mind. They may suffer from flashbacks, and memories of the ‘act’. Reliving the trauma over and over again, but not through choice. The mind can be triggered by a word, song, smell, touch, voice, name; and it can happen when least expected, such as during a happy occasion.

When an injustice has been committed, the victim/survivor will always want some form of reprisal; some people call it closure. Knowing that the perpetrator will feel the ‘full force of the law’ for his crime would be a step towards healing for the victim.
Most people are not compassionate to sufferers who disclose their abuse, years after the ‘act’ took place. They are usually quick to say things like, ‘It was a long time ago – get over it’ or ‘Wha’ you dragging that up for now? And the classic protest from a mother to a daughter is usually complete denial, followed by words such as, ‘Is lie…you just want to break up my family… how is only now you talking?’

Is it any wonder that sexual abuse is still one of the most unreported crimes in society for children as well as adults? It seems shame and stigma are surrounding sexual abuse, and it is not warranted to be the shocking, serious crime that it is.

But for the victim/survivor, it can be a life-long affliction which haunts them daily. If their lives are to return to any semblance of normalcy, they need not only to speak out, but they need to be heard by those who understand and help make a difference.
Counsellors and psychologists can help a ‘VICTIM’ become a ‘SURVIVOR’ of traumatic events. Through counselling sessions, victims can put their lives in perspective and begin the healing process.

The police, along with the Childcare and Protection Agency, can put measures in place for investigations to be conducted and for criminal proceedings to begin against the perpetrator (and associates). No one deserves to be violated by anyone. And by those in a position of trust, is abominable.

While teenage sexual abuse is often not disclosed to anyone for many years, some people never disclose at all, through fear. Fear of disbelief or blame and fear of being branded ‘hot’ ‘forward’ or worse. Fear that it would appear that the sex was consensual (because their body responded) or fear that the perpetrator will be protected. Victims also fear the scrutiny and probing, surrounding an investigation. Nevertheless, if you are a victim of child sexual abuse, speak out, get help, become empowered, leave the victim behind and BECOME A SURVIVOR.
If you are concerned about the welfare of a child call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION