Trauma is real for victims of abuse and counselling can help the healing process to begin. Today we hear from Janine.

‘I MET him on Facebook, he in-boxed me because he liked my profile picture and it started from there’. The young girl sat in the Psychologist’s office wringing her hands together on her lap as she told her story.

The Psychologist acknowledged her demeanour and leaned forward empathetically, meeting the girl’s eyes as she looked up. ‘Janine’ I know this is not easy for you but we are discussing something that happened in the past… we cannot change the past but we can do something about the present and the future. I want you to bring yourself into the present… so, here’s what I want you to do…close your eyes…take a long, deep breath… that’s right… and another…relax… find some space in your mind…okay? When you feel quite ready, then you can begin.’ Noticeably, the girl’s shoulders began to relax and the wringing of her hands eased considerably.

Ms Meena, the Psychologist had worked with many girls like Janine in the past, yet no two cases were the same. Survivors of sexual abuse, rape and sexual assault, handle the aftermath of such traumas in different ways. The age of the victim, and the length of time over which the abuse had taken place, are always significant factors in discerning the amount of damage inflicted on the victim. But there was always one thing for certain in every case; the damage had been done. If the survivor would ever have a ‘next to normal’ chance at adulthood, then the healing would have to start as early as possible.

Janine started again, “He ‘liked’ the photos that I posted and he posted some too, we became friends. I knew he was older than me and I thought if he knew I was 13 everything would stop so I didn’t tell him. I looked older in my pictures because I wore makeup and midriff clothes with my belly outside. I liked the attention; it was something I looked forward to every day.

“We chatted about things we liked and had in common…we both liked basketball and we both had pets. We had fun talking about animals; he made me laugh…a lot. I told him personal things and he confided in me too. He was the first person to tell me I’m beautiful. He said he liked everything about me; my lips, my figure. He said he dreamt about holding me in his arms.”

Ms Meena recognised the artful skill of ‘grooming’ in Janine’s story, which Janine mistook back then, as an innocent friendship. Questions ran through her mind. Where were Janine’s parents while this was going on? Why wasn’t Janine’s internet use being monitored? How many times during her career, had she counselled parents who had failed to supply the extra attention, advice and sense of direction and correction, needed so vehemently during pubescent and adolescent years? Still, she didn’t want to dwell too much on what hadn’t been done. She too needed to focus on moving forward. She waited for a lull of silence before she began, ‘Take me to the day of the incident?’.

Janine bowed her head as her confidence waned once again, then slowly she straightened up, took a long deep breath and continued.

“It was when my family went to the Friday night, Saturday morning market and he knew I was alone. He found out where I lived from photos taken outside my house and from things I’d told him. I never expected to see him at my gate; he lived ‘til up in the Corentyne River… but he came and I was excited to see him in the flesh, so I let him in. He looked older in person, like 25 or so and he still didn’t ask my age. We sat and talked for a long time before he kissed me.

“Well… one thing was leading to another and before I realised, I felt his heavy weight on top of me. I pushed him off and asked him to leave, I even lied and said my grandmother would be home soon, then he asked me… what I think he come for?

“I got really scared, I felt my blood run cold and I moved towards the door to get away but he caught me and dragged me on to the settee. I was crying and begging for him to leave and to let me go but he pinned my arms above my head with one hand and force himself on to me. He told me, ‘shut up,’ and he raped me.”

Janine added gentle sobs to the tears that were already streaming down her face. Ms Meena knew how much courage it took for Janine to recollect her ordeal and the fact that she got through it on this occasion reresented progress. She handed Janine a tissue. “Thanks for sharing that with me Janine, I’m proud of you and the progress we are making. Remember, we have the past; we have the….’ Janine interrupts ‘…present and the future…and we are working towards the future.”

Ms Meena laughed, “That’s right Janine… your future…you said you’d like to be a midwife, like your Aunt, right “ ? Janine nodded. “You can do it Janine; you’ve got this…okay?’ Ms Meena rose with Janine and walked her to the door. As Janine opened the door and stepped out into the world, she turned and asked Ms Meena, “Same time next week” ? Ms Meena nodded to confirm.

If you or someone you know needs advice or counseling, or if you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION