THIS topic has rested upon my mind for a long time now. I had two minds about writing it because I found it to be a very controversial and touchy topic in Guyana. I later realised, with much-intended thinking, that who I am should not be controversial. My mother is of Indo-Guyanese decedent while my father has the racial mixture of Chinese, African and Portuguese. I am yet to take an ancestry DNA test, however, it is obvious that I am, of course, a mixed-race child. You would never understand the struggle of being an ambivalent being unless you’re mixed.

The first time I remembered being confused about my racial identity was as early as the Second Grade. The world made me, as innocent as I was, aware that I am in fact different. Our class was learning about the six ethnic (culture) groups in Guyana. The teacher made us all raise our hands to identify our races as she called them out on the blackboard. A confused and desolate Marissa sat on the bench, not knowing who she was, which category of ethnicity she fell under and wondering if her parents lied to her.

My parents never allowed me to feel one-sided. To be brutally honest, as I grew I allowed my physicality to get the best of me. I was not dark enough to be considered an African, my eyes were we not hooded enough to be considered a Chinese, my hair was not straight enough to be considered an Indian and my complexion was not fair enough to be considered a Portuguese, A.K.A “red woman”. I was and still am the “different looking” one on both sides of my family.

There are many ways in which we can overcome this feeling and mixed-race children. First, we try and educate ourselves as well as people around us on the topic of race. Race is a social construct that was developed by colonial slave masters to justify their actions. If you asked me, there is no such thing as different races.

In my readings, it is believed that our physical environment forced us to adapt to it, hence, our ancestors have different physical features depending on their environment and their places of origin across the world. If we allow ourselves and others to think that we are subjected to a specific level of society based on our ‘race’, then the cycle will always continue. You should also learn to accept your cultured-identity and should also be able to choose what you would like to be identified as.

For me, filling out a form has always been difficult, when it watered down to answer the question, ‘what race are you?’ Personally, I identify as mixed. There may be persons who have physical features of one race that may be more dominant than the other, so if they’d like to identify as just one race, let them be.

At the end of the day, we should be judging a person based off of personality and not physicality. If you find it difficult to deal with, find other mixed-race persons with similar issues and talk to them, we feel better when we can relate to others. Lastly, we should speak up and against racism. Use your stories and your voices to be advocates, let the cycle of racism in your family or community end with you.

Kasy Sookram, is a fellow Guyanese artist, she would like to share her story of being a mixed child:

“It’s the best of both worlds until some arrogant human pops your bubble by asking a stupid question like, ‘Are you sure that’s your dad?’ My first instinct is always to slap them and ask them how they could be so stupid, but violence is never the answer so I just always explain how genes work. Having an Indian dad and a mixed mom that leans more to the African side didn’t become a problem until I moved back to Guyana; shocking right? I would have expected the racism talk anywhere else but here. Sad to say it’s still rampant.
First, it would start off with little questions like ‘How come you have that surname?’ or ‘Who is Indian for you?’ Then after they have seen my siblings they’d always laugh and say ’They’re nicer than you,’ referring to complexion. Eventually, I just learned to accept it and in most cases ignore the arrogance.

As I got older I realised that your name carries weight, especially majority of Indian surnames. In turn, I started to use it to my advantage. One incident that occurred right after I was done with school was when I applied for a job. I believe they only called me in because of my name because when the interviewer saw me it was obvious that she was not at all pleased.

During the course of the interview, she made mention that I had all the requirements needed but there were no vacancies at the moment, for me at least.
That is something that will stay with me for as long as I live but I learned from it and have come to better accept the fact that I cannot change how people act toward me because of my name or my complexion. Though it is very sad to say that people of a lighter complexion always have a head start even when they are not competing.”

As far as I know, people of mixed race are more than just a fetish of some kind. We are more than just a stereotype of being outcasts of society. My parents and their story thought me that love knows no colour. If I am to comfort little Marissa in the second grade, I would tell her all the things I know now about race. I would show her a picture of how her short curly hair would later grow into blossoms of long curls; that she will prevail and do good things despite her racial identity.

I would tell her that she is loved by many and she does not need to be under a specific category just to feel better. As far as I know little Marissa, you are a jackpot of many of Guyana’s races; an example of the future.