HOW SHOULD a mother react after discovering her 14-year-old daughter was sexually abused by a relative over a three- year period? How should that mother react after discovering her daughter is HIV positive as a result of the abuse? What can anyone tell that mother about justice when her child’s abuser was never required to answer for his crime before a jury?

Martha Roberts’ (names changed to protect identity) still struggles to hold back the tears when she thinks about the excruciating ordeal her child was forced to endure for three years. When asked to describe her daughter, Lynn, before she was abused, Martha smiled and recalled, “She was a quiet child, always friendly… you ask anybody about her, she is very friendly.”

That changed one fateful afternoon when the then 11-year -old Lynn, went to her Aunt Judy’s yard to get some water. Judy’s yard is located directly behind Martha’s yard. “(Judy’s husband, Jarvis) force himself on her… He carried her in an old bathroom and told her to bend over. (Lynn) said the first time she hollered and he told she don’t holler. And that is how he started the first time.”

The abuse that Lynn endured that day actually began prior to that. Martha recalled, “Them children used to go by me sister for water and when (Jarvis) play with them, he used to touch her but she didn’t know that was wrong. Jarvis took the opportunity and when Lynn was alone and he threatened her. He said that if she said anything that he would kill her.”
After the incident, Martha, a mother of six children, noted a significant difference in Lynn’s behavior. “Sometimes she would open her mouth and make a set of noise.

She became aggressive in her behavior. So I used to want to know why she behaving like that and the rest don’t behave like that.” Martha also recalled that Lynn would cry almost every day and even talk to herself. However, Martha attributed this to the difficulty and changes of the teenage years.
Martha then recalled the evening when Lynn finally admitted what she was going through. “I got a call from my eldest daughter around 7:30 (PM). She said Lynn went at the back for water since one o’clock and she didn’t come back. I went straight home, Lynn was sitting by herself and I ask her what happen and she told me.”

Martha made a report to the police. Jarvis was arrested and charged but later released on bail. Martha stated that after her brother in law was released, he and her sister would curse her and her children. After one of those altercations, Jarvis was arrested a second time and later released. Since his release, Jarvis and his wife no longer express any animosity to Martha and her family. However, during the police investigation, a medical examination was carried out for Lynn which revealed that she was HIV positive.

“I did feel bad about (learning of Lynn’s HIV status).” Martha recalled. “It was very hard for me to understand and cope with the situation. But then going to the (Georgetown Public) Hospital, it got some very nice doctors, and we would sit and we would talk… They counselled Lynn and provided some hope that it is not the end of the world. You could move on.”

“I didn’t disbelieve Lynn when she come to me and tell me… I believed. I believe, yes, but then I don’t know how to deal with that situation… One day she told me, “I don’t know how my life will be now that I end up in this situation.”
Martha and Lynn received further counselling from social workers at ChildLinK. “The counselling that she had and I had, helped us a great lot” said Martha. “To me, I tell myself that I (am a) better parent since I start getting counselling.” Martha admits that she spends more time with her children. She no longer curses them and listens attentively to them without getting frustrated.

When asked how her parenting approach changed since receiving counselling from the social worker at ChildLinK, she stated, “Sometimes you come home from work; as a single parent you have so much things to do. You have to cook, you have to clean, plus you have children to look after children. It used to be frustrating…it used to tell on your nerves, like the child miserable and you chase them. But then getting the counseling, you know that you have to sit down sometimes and talk to and listen to your children.”

Martha believes that if she had paid more attention to Lynn, she would have come to her sooner. “She was trying to tell me but I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t paying attention. She did come to me one time and say, “Mommy, I want talk to you.” But it was something I was doing or somebody had come so she said, “Mommy, I will talk to you later because you talking.” But she never come back…”

When asked what advice she would love to give to mothers, Martha said, “Whatever (your children) come and tell you, even if you don’t believe, listen even if you got to spend five minutes of your time. You cooking, you washing, even if you got to spend five minutes of that time; listen to them. It is very important.”

Martha’s advice to a mother whose child reveals that he or she was sexually abused is, “… A lot of parents, they are aware of certain things and they shame to bring it out to the public… they need to come out and expose the person who did it so that a next child wouldn’t be a victim of it… We need to expose them!”

ChildLinK is a not for profit organization and a member of the Child Rights Alliance which aims to protect children from abuse and violence. To report cases of abuse call 231 7174 or 227 0979. Email ChildLinK: admin@childlinkgy.org for further information on the Child Rights Alliance.