When granny Dorothy died the entire village mourned. She was the oldest person in Bushy Dam. She was wise, respected and loved. Even the little children who traditionally kept away from very old folks were not shy around her. When she died there was sadness in the air.The wake ran for weeks. Each night more and more people came. Food was cooked; coffee and tennis rolls/buns were shared. Rum, gin, whisky and high wine were in abundance.
There were all sorts of people present. There was the woman from the spiritual church, the pastor, the priest, the Obea man and Reuben de ol thief. Everyone made a special effort to be civil to each other. At any other forum there would be fireworks.
Uncle Daniel was one year younger than granny and just as wise. He loved to chat and would be on the lookout for anyone passing his ancient hut. He would call out to them and if they stopped they would be delayed by at least half an hour. Even then he would still be chatting amiably as they hurried away.
Now he had a captive audience. He settled down and started to chat. Tonight he would entertain the younger folks with a story. Guess what type?
“Welcome friend, family, relative, de living and de dead. Jumbie and Old Haigue welcome. Masacura Man an Kamina welcome. Baccro an Bush Dai Dai welcome. Mermaid an Moon Gazer welcome.”
By now he had plenty of attention. The younger folks were drawing near and the old folks were straining their ears to hear what he was saying.
“A very long time ago a teenaged girl name Millicent died. She family bury her wid all she jewels. Yo see, Millie did love she gold. Whenever her mother took them away as punishment the girl won’t eat until she get dem back. One time she big sister ask the mother to borrow a ring. The mother give her one from Millicent. Somehow she lost it. When Millie heard this she went berserk. She attacked her sister and won’t leave her alone until the ring was replaced. Nobody borrowed her gold jewelry after that.
People who attended de funeral suggested to the family that they should remove the jewellery from the dead. They ignored these suggestions. Others who saw this were elated. Silent plans began to hatch for the gold. Mille was laid to rest.
A couple of nights after her burial three unfortunate thieves decided to raid the dead. They were going to collect a bounty of gold.
The trio worked hard to dig up the casket. When they had pulled it up to the surface, they pried it open with a crow bar and proceeded to remove the jewelry. When they hard remove all of it, they spilt it up and decided to replace the dead. What a nasty shock greeted them. The box was empty.
Looking around they saw angry Millie glaring murderously at them. Her hair stood on edge and her eyes were like sockets of fire in her head. In her hand was a stout piece of stick that they had used to do the exhuming.
“Give me back me jewels!”
Even though this shocked and frightened them, they had no intention of returning the treasure.
“If yo don’t give me me thing is me and all yo!”
Instead of complying they ran; big mistake. Licks like peas start raining pun dem.
Wax! Ply! Pow! Pax! Ow! Aah! Ouch!
Hands, feet, backs, bellies and bamsies got good licks. As lix get heavy they decide to scatter in different direction; an even bigger mistake. This last move caused them to run pon plenty people grave. The bawling an screaming wake up nuff dead people that night.
“Is who disturbing we?”
“Who wake me after 300 years?”
“Who dare run pun me palace!”
“Who playing deh mad tonite!”
Mo licks start up.
The three jokers find dat Jumbies block all the exits so they decide fo give back de gold.
Snatch!
The gold was back wid Millie
Ply! Pax! Wax!
Mo lix fo dem
Ow! Blows in the unmentionables. They were begging and crying.
“Sarry fo we nah!”
“Sarry an yo all wake me an me friends up!”
“We nat gon do it again.”
“Put me back now!” That’s was Millie with flashing eyes
If yo see put back, full back and pad down, neat neat. By de time they done all the jumbies gon back. The three limped out de burial ground because they were too beat up to run. Regretting they ever went in the first place, they headed for home. One of dem put he hand in one pocket and pull out something gold. With a scream he dropped it and de three thief men run fo dey life. But was only he lighter.
Uncle Daniel paused and looked around. By now all the children had moved from the dark areas and were close to the light. They had not taken their eyes off of the old man. He smiled knowingly.
“Yall want hear another nice story?”
NO!!!
The story teller burst out laughing!

Written By Neil Primus