I AM 25, and have been married two years. My husband and I bought a house together one year before we got married, and things went downhill from there. I married for the wrong reasons. I almost felt I had no choice, because the date was set, plans were made, and we had house and cars in both our names. Friends and family tried to talk me out of it, but I felt we could make it work.
Now I think about it every day, and think we might be better off if we went our separate ways. My husband makes really good money, but spends it recklessly. What kept me in the relationship was his money and the comfort zone, as much as I hate to admit it.
We see life differently: I don’t feel secure around him, and he is not protective at all. Every time we get into an argument, he threatens me by saying he wants a divorce. I’m tired of it. I can’t live my whole life afraid of arguments and him leaving.
Last week, I went to a divorce lawyer for a consult and for information on how divorce works. I feel if I don’t divorce now, it will happen sometime in the future, and it will only be harder to do as time goes on.
Rhea

Rhea,
Many people write us and admit they married for all the wrong reasons. Usually, they want us to give them a cheat, which will make everything right. That’s like Pinocchio wanting to become a real boy without doing the right things.
Realists are people who face things honestly. Realists have the best chance of putting their lives in order. That doesn’t mean being a realist feels good all the time. Often, it feels rotten. But being a realist gives you the firm foundation upon which to build the rest of your life.
You were too much in love with your fiancé’s income, and too locked-in financially to heed the warnings of friends and family. You overrode your own inner warnings. Now you realize when a person has everything but love, they feel they have nothing.
When we make a mistake, even a serious one, we don’t have to dwell on it. We just need to correct it.
Wayne & Tamara