THIS WEEK, I want to apologise to my readers, in advance, for deviating.
Over a year ago, I wrote a column on ‘Pain Management and Dependency’. This is how, after the introduction to the topic, I began the article:
“An associate of mine recently underwent an operation that served, successfully, to significantly lessen chronic pain he had been experiencing for a number of years. As he related to me, in the post-operation period, there were times when the withdrawal symptoms from coming off the pain medication he used made him feel much worse than the pain itself had made him feel in the past.”

Now while I introduced the article by mentioning the TV show, House, truth is, what inspired it was a real- life drama.  The ‘associate’ of whom I spoke was in fact me, and to those who’ve known me for any significant period of time, this is a condition that has plagued me for years.  Why I chose to address the issue in such a tangential manner then was the fact that a rumour mill had started with regard to what was said to be my addiction to pain medication.

Now, to cast some perspective on my recent experience with slander, not so long ago, I, a middle-aged married (some 20 years) father of two teenaged children, found myself at the end of an e-mail campaign in which my sexuality came under question.  In a society such as this, as homophobic as we tend to be, this tends to be a serious charge against someone – to defend it would be as much an admission of guilt as to not defend it.

What I wouldn’t hesitate defending is my strong belief that homophobia is more detrimental to our society than homosexuality itself: It’s something that estranges children from their families; alienates good people from mainstream society; exposes a significant section of our population to discrimination in areas from employment to health care; and criminalises behaviour that almost any decent psychiatrist is going to tell you is not exactly deviant.  Whatever my position, I decided not to address this in any public way.

That said, a year after those particular incidents, coming out of what ideally should have been a private issue has been a new set of Chinese whispers with regard to what may be wrong with me.  This is something I’m addressing in a public statement, but which I am going to deal with partially, in a less formal way, in this column.

A few months ago, it was said with all confidence that I was stricken with cancer, and was on death’s bed, something my continued presence not just on earth but within my office, performing my professional duties would tend to refute.  My view on it then was that it made no sense clarifying an issue that was clearly no one’s business than the people close to me.

More recently, however, as is typical of the case with Chinese whispers, my condition seems to have miraculously evolved to full-blown AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome), which would explain the frequency of my engagement with my doctors.

I think more important, more tragic than the personal attempt at stigmatizing me – and it’s clear that this is nothing more than that, really – is what is being used to do so.  Anyone who has had cancer, or has lost someone to cancer, knows that this isn’t something that you find derision or scorn or condescension in.  The saying “As serious as cancer” is one borne out of the gravity of the illness, and for me, it speaks to the level of  maturity of a society when you can attach stigma to something so devastating, and then use it in an attempt to besmirch someone.

And if cancer is bad, AIDS – or even HIV infection which causes it – is arguably just as bad, and while some cancers go into remission with treatment, HIV infection is something that one has to live with, and which drastically changes your lifestyle.  Anyone who has AIDS needs to be treated with respect and care as a human being, and I find it indecent – particularly as someone involved in a direct way in the execution of health care policy in Guyana – that we have not evolved beyond mere criticism.

I have no obligation to take this stand I am taking, and were I accountable only to myself, I wouldn’t have had any inclination to either.  However, I not only have a caring family and a staff that is often more sensitive both to my image and health concerns than I sometimes am, so I owe it to them to do so.  I am therefore coming clean: I have, and have had, for the past twenty years, a progressively worsening chronic back pain.  I’ve undergone three major surgeries for the condition, and I am on a regimen of pain killers, doctor’s visits and occasional in-patient care — and that’s the whole of it.

While, being practical, I can see my professional life possessing a strong public competent, an election year would find me the target of whatever spurious attacks or conjecture. And that, unfortunately, is the nature of the beast we are dealing with. My advice, and for me this is the primary purpose of this column, is to advise others to stand up to the sort of rumour mongering that will inevitably come.

My personal take on it, however, is that with my competence and integrity being unassailable, is this the best – or worst – that people have to throw is speculation about my health?  If that’s the case, the state of mudslinging in Guyana is very poor.