Mr. Rogers
I HAVE A crush on a woman. I’m 27 and she is 23. I met her at a party and discovered by chance we are neighbours. Turns out I bought a house four houses away from her parents, and she moved back in with them after college.

I knew she had a boyfriend, but I befriended her on Facebook, hoping maybe one day she would break up with him. She clicks ‘like’ on some of my Facebook things, and wished me a happy birthday on my Facebook Wall. I think that counts as digital flirting.

Her boyfriend is a college dropout who lives with his parents, and has profile pictures of himself tagged as various Transformers and anime characters. He even quotes Charlie Sheen.

They’ve been together a couple of years, but the guy is a downright loser, and she has her act together. Last week I noticed her status changed from ‘in a relationship’ to no relationship. His page still says ‘in a relationship’, but no longer links to her photo.

I’ve been debating about asking her out for drinks. If I wait too long, I may lose my chance, but if I act too soon, it might blow up in my face. Should I take a chance at love while possibly infuriating a meathead and looking like a fool so close to home? Four houses is pretty close.
Michael

Michael,
When a woman ‘likes’ something on your Facebook page, it doesn’t mean she wants to marry you and have your babies. It may only mean she finds something cute, nice or funny.

That being said, she changed her status, and is open to being asked out. It is your right to ask, and her right to decide. Instead of viewing this as a stressful event, think of it as getting to know your neighbours. It may even lead to backyard barbecues and coffee on the porch.

Do the neighbourly thing: Ask.
Tamara

Counting the days
I AM the second wife of a good man. His first wife, with whom he had two children, left him for her boss seven years ago. She is a terrible mother, and was a terrible wife. She neglects her children and puts herself first. She is only there in case of fire!

My issue is this: My husband insists on my going with him to drop off or pick up the kids. I don’t want to go. The problem I have is she gets dressed up, and has dramatic hellos and farewells at the door, like the doting mother I know she is not. This happens while we wait in the car.

When they were married, she left her three-week-old baby to go to Las Vegas for a week, and never called home once! What bothers me is I don’t understand ‘the show’, and I don’t want to entertain it anymore.

My husband refuses to pull up a few feet in order to avoid her performance; he wants to be directly in front of the sidewalk. I would rather not go because of this, but he insists. If she hates him so much, why does she do this?
Patsy

Patsy,
Why does she do it? Because, faced with a choice of hating him or hating herself, she chooses to hate him.

When you accompany your husband, you are protecting him. Your husband unconsciously knows he may need a witness to what she does, and that is why he wants you with him.

Performers need an audience. If she cannot put on the show for you, she will try something else. Better the devil you know than the one you haven’t seen yet.

Kids grow up. Each day you go is one less day you will have to go. There is nothing you can do to stop what she does. All you can do is make this a problem between you and your husband.
Wayne