Traci,

a Robert Frost poem says, home is a place “you somehow haven’t to deserve.” Frost was thinking of homes so warm and caring they exceed what we are entitled to. But your father’s home was a place neither you nor your brother nor your sister deserved, in another sense of the word. People often experience a conflict between blood and behavior. When they choose to say blood comes first, they give a family member who acts up free rein to do whatever they want.
Many try to avoid this issue by ignoring it. That’s a strategy bringing short-term gain and long-term pain. It makes the problem worse.
Your father is cruel. It is not enough to leave an embittered note when he dies. He wants to watch you cringe as you read it now. Why should your marriage be clouded by this? Is there a third factor here beyond blood and behavior?
Money. Are you and your siblings each hoping to be the last one to find a chair when the music stops? If that’s the case, realize a man as bitter as your father may leave his money to none of you. His dying thoughts might be, “That’ll teach ‘em not to do what I want.”
If your father is really from the era of John Wayne and Gary Cooper, he will respect you more if you say, “We don’t want your money. And we’re not going to take anymore guff from you.”
Send letters to:
DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

SHARE THIS ARTICLE :
Facebook
Twitter
WhatsApp
All our printed editions are available online
emblem3
Subscribe to the Guyana Chronicle.
Sign up to receive news and updates.
We respect your privacy.