Speak out, do not suffer in silence
I’m already dead, but it’s not too late for you.
He said that he loved me, and our love was perfect. I was the envy of all my friends. My life was a beautiful fairytale. I was in love with a man who loved and cherished me, who would never hurt me or allow anything bad to happen to me. I trusted this man with my soul. He was my first, and now I know that he will be my only. The last touch I feel before I leave this earth. This man, my hero, my everything.

He gave me his heart and I returned that love three-fold. Our daughter was barely three when it started.
Our son, at one year old was just a helpless, unsuspecting baby. When I think about it now, I almost resent him for subjecting my children to such horrendous suffering.

QUOTE: What is heartbreaking is that the actual level of domestic violence will never truly be realized, as many more cases of violence against women go unreported and undocumented.

I could not understand why this was happening. He would never knowingly hurt me. This was a mistake, a terrible misunderstanding. It had to be. But what could cause him to treat me this way. What frustrated him to the extent that he was forced to hit me, to hurt me so badly time after time, and while my children watched? Was it something that I did? Or was it my friends? They were always jealous of me anyway. I could never allow anything to come between me and my husband. Not even my life-long friends. They made him uncomfortable, so I had to fix that. I had to distance myself from the women I considered my sisters.

The fights became more frequent, and I soon realized that this monster that I was married to was not the kind sweet man I fell in love with and married. After we fought, he would tell me that he loves me so much. He would tell me that he was sorry, and promise to always love me, but I mustn’t make him angry.

I knew that he was a good man, he did not drink very often, and he worked so hard to provide for us. But as his fists beat into my chest, and tears rolled down my face, I was blinded to this and only hate filled my heart.

I knew that it was over, but fear kept me tangled in this web of disaster that became my marriage, this nightmare that was my life.

QUOTE: Some women stay in abusive relationships because of fear and dependence on their male counterparts. Many women are killed horrifically by their spouses every year, simply because the shame and the guilt of being abused by their partners blind them to the fact that domestic violence is not a domestic matter.

I look at my children now, but watch them is all I can do. My heart breaks because they can’t see me. They can’t feel my touch or even hear my voice. You see, I knew that it was over; I knew that I had to leave. My husband knew this also. That was the end of me.

What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a cruel and inhumane attack on Guyana’s human resource. It “damages the prospects for economic and social development of every country, not just the lives of the victims” (CAFRA).
To think of domestic violence, is to think of torture meted out to an individual by another person with whom that individual is in an intimate relationship, for the purpose of intimidating or inflicting fear as a means of  controlling that individual.

Torture, comes in many different forms and includes physical, psychological, and emotional violence such as rape or other sexual assault, beating, burning, tying up, threatening to kill or attack the victim or their children, stripping naked, or mutilating. Sleep deprivation, humiliation and insult, particularly of a sexualized character, are also forms of torture.

Domestic violence is not simply a private household matter; it is a blatant disregard for the inalienable human rights that are fundamental for human existence. Domestic and sexual violence against women are immoral, and are in direct violation of the Universal Declaration on Human Rights 1948 (Article 2, 3 and 5).

The Domestic Violence Act 1996 was established by government to act as a disincentive to perpetrators, and also, to make available, constitutional protection of these rights.

Violence against women, however, continues to intensify, as the number of deaths of women by their spouses continues to mount, raising awareness of this vicious cycle of violence that unconstructively and harmfully encroaches on this country.

In May this year, Bridgette Gangadeen, a 29-year-old mother of three from Lusignan, East Coast Demerara was murdered and her body grounded over by her husband’s truck and left on the side of the road.

Also in May,  57-year-old Jacqueline George of Sophia, was pulled from the charred ruins of her burning home dead.

Last February, Dianne Browne, a 26-year-old mother, fought desperately to save her life after being viciously stabbed by her lover who couldn’t accept that the relationship was over. And Vanessa Collins, a teenager, was last year brutally stabbed by a man with whom she had a relationship, while at a back-to-school party in Victoria.

Presently, another mother of two, Trishwari Ramdhary of Cornelia Ida, West Coast Demerara, at the tender age of 22 is now in the Georgetown Public Hospital fighting for her life after being stabbed by her common-law husband earlier last week.

These women are all victims of domestic violence. All were subjected to abuse by their spouses. Their stories, as horrifying as they may be, are a mere reflection of the actual level of domestic violence inflicted on women in Guyana everyday.

Domestic violence in Guyana is at an unprecedented high rate. In 2009, Help and shelter reported 544 cases of domestic violence. A disturbing 61% of these cases were spousal abuse. Also, the organization reported 300 cases of domestic violence for the period January 1, 2010 – June 30, 2010, 48% of which were spousal abuse cases. This means, that between January of last year, and June of this year, 476 women were abused by their spouses.

What is heartbreaking is that the actual level of domestic violence will never truly be realized, as many more cases of violence against women go unreported and undocumented.

Also, some women stay in abusive relationships because of fear and dependence on their male counterparts. Many women are killed horrifically by their spouses every year, simply because the shame and the guilt of being abused by their partners blind them to the fact that domestic violence is not a domestic matter.