Sloth takes umbrage at Chronicle reportage

-Cites betrayal of confidence
In last Sunday’s Pepperpot, we ran a story in which we featured certain inhabitants of the Botanical Gardens, among them the sloth, whom we have since learnt does not take kindly to being called ‘full-mouth’, and has taken umbrage at the tone of the reportage, saying that aspects of it constitute a breach of confidence. The following is the letter he penned us on the matter:


Mr. Sammy Sloth
℅ The Botanical Gardens
Cage Nine

04/23/2010

The Editor
℅ The Sunday Chronicle
Lama Avenue
Bel Air Park

Dear Ma’am,
I refer to an article carried in last Sunday’s newspapers captioned: ‘Interviews at the Zoo: Talk to the animals’.
In response to a query about my toilet habits, I was quoted as saying (inter alia) that that was a highly personal question, indicating that I would prefer not to answer. However, since the reporter continued to exhibit a morbid interest in this subject, I eventually condescended.
My exact words were: “OFF THE RECORD, I urinate once every two weeks, and have to go to the bathroom once every three weeks.” As to the question about my being constipated, I replied in the negative, citing by way of explaining my protracted regularity my sloth by nature.
Lo and behold! On reading your Sunday Pepperpot of April 18, 2010, I was horrified to see that my comments, which were intended to be OFF THE RECORD, were actually published.
Surely OFF THE RECORD means just that; OFF THE RECORD!
That the reporter took it upon himself to quote me, even though insisted on this information being OFF THE RECORD amounts to a betrayal of confidence.
I have since been the butt of jokes by every Tom, Dick, and Harry at the zoo… even the parrots.
That being said, I hope and trust that this issue of unprofessional conduct by the reporter of quoting one, even though they indicate that they are going OFF THE RECORD, is not allowed to pass without censure.
Looking forward to your understanding and kind cooperation in this regard.

Yours,
Sammy  Sloth

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