I HAVE been married 12 years to a very loving man. Relationship Advice – This Week’s ColumnWhen I met his mom, she asked if she could be like a ‘real mom’ instead of a typical mother-in-law. My own mother passed away a month before, and I thought she was an extraordinary woman for asking this. I accepted wholeheartedly. My husband and I have taken some business risks and are very good with our finances, but not all risks pan out. When we get in a tough place financially, she jumps in and ‘solves the problem’. At first I thought this was amazing, then I thought maybe if she didn’t jump to the rescue, her son would rise up and be proactive.

This woman has criticised my parenting because it is not exactly what she would do. She is very clever at implying things. If I say, “Did you mean this or that?” she denies meaning anything hurtful. My husband is convinced that I do not ‘get her’. The problem is, as a woman, I think I get her just fine.

Now I hate going to her home and spending time with her. When my husband is not around, she is biting in her words and implies a lot of hurtful things, but when I ask her to clarify, she says, “Really, Hollyann, are we going there again?” Like I am crazy for constantly misunderstanding her motives and intentions.

She is married to her former marriage counsellor, which does not help. In her mind, everything he says is gospel; it is like trying to hold a slippery fish. In the past few months, I’ve made excuses, but that will not work forever; I do not want to be around her or even talk to her.

I am committed to finding answers that work for both my husband and kids, and myself, since I am unable to control my world and move away.