I’M A NEWLYWED of four months. Slowly, sex has decreased, and my wife has attributed it to not wanting to be cold, as it is winter. Another excuse is that she’s put on a few pounds since the wedding. I tried to resolve these issues by telling her how beautiful she is, and romancing her. It hasn’t helped.

I saved myself for marriage, while my wife did not. She told me sex wasn’t special for her, because she’s had so much more than me. I responded by telling her I understood, but felt sex was a way of expressing love and pleasing your partner.

Then she told me she didn’t like sex, because her relationship with a boyfriend before me was long and bad, yet they stayed together and kept being intimate. She doesn’t want to have sex often for awhile, until she feels better about the meaning of sex.

I asked what we would do if she didn’t feel better about it, and expressed concerns like why didn’t you tell me before marriage. I feel lied to. I also feel inadequate for not being able to make her want me sexually, despite my best efforts.
Kent