GUESSICOMING
SANTA Claus has made an early appearance at the Guyana Elections Commission (GECOM) and he’s got almost every adult in this land shouting `Ho! Ho! Ho!’ at each other.

Christmas, they say, is the season of goodwill but the Santa at GECOM
seems to have forgotten all about goodwill.

I am sure public servants and others would have preferred to be smiling broadly about an end-of-year salary raise retroactive to January, or to a nice Christmas pay bonus.

They didn’t expect funny stuff from a GECOM Santa who’s into some
serious GUESSCOMING.

It looks like he’s only keen on getting some huge big belly-shaking and floor-rolling laughs at other people’s expense.

How else can one explain those awful new so-called ID cards the good
folks at GECOM spent so much time and so many millions upon millions of dollars in producing and distributing?

It looks like the GECOM mountain went into labour and produced Mickey Mouse ID cards — because those new-born cards are sure enough producing a lot of mirth.

People are waving those cards at each other and asking, `Guess who this is?’

The new-fangled cards look fine enough but the photos that purport to represent the people identified on the cards are weird. And that’s putting it mildly.

I am yet to hear one person who has uplifted their new ID card comment favourably on their portrait embedded three times on it. A letter in a newspaper on the subject yesterday illustrates the point many people are making.

My aunt told me the photo on the ID card she was shown as hers, was nothing like her, and she had to have her photo retaken. So that means that after waiting so long to get the new ID card, she has to wait again.

I have heard several other similar tales.
I know I am not a movie star but my photo on my new ID card is producing a lot of laughs from those I show it to.

The reactions so far have ranged from much giggling to pure amazement. A colleague at work said GECOM is futuristic and the photo of me on the ID card looks like what I’ll probably look like when I am 90.

Others said it looks like a photo on those flat Police `Wanted’ bulletins. One wag said that photo will look good on a Police `Wanted dead or alive’ bulletin.

I tested that new ID card on a bank teller, telling her this was my brand new ID card.

She accepted it, barely concealing a smile, and I felt the only reason she did not burst out into loud laughter was that there were many people in the bank and bank employees have to be polite to their customers.

I at least crossed that hurdle at the bank but I wonder if I’ll have to undergo a DNA test, an MRI or Cat Scan, dental checks, X-rays or whatever to prove I am who I am when next I produce that new ID card?

I am keeping it handy for this holiday season. If I’m in any group and their spirits are down, I’ll pull it out and pass it around. I can already hear the laughter erupting. Ho! Ho! Ho! And to you too, Mr. GECOM Santa Claus! (You don’t have to guess what my Christmas wish is for you, do you?)
Ho! Ho! Ho!