Everyone fails so expect setbacks

Failure is inevitable so learn to deal with it

I’M sitting on a deck drinking some ginger tea and admiring the beautiful sea in a place I once called home. Barbados will always have a special place in my heart and I always look forward to spending time there. I started reminiscing about the years I lived on this small but versatile island. I can never forget the day I enrolled my younger daughter Shonta to attend St Angella’s Primary School. She said, “Mom, I need to see the two top schools on the island.” I obliged and took her to Queen’s College and Harrison College. Without any hesitation, she said she would be going to QC.

I knew she was very bright but moving her not long before CSEC exams could have been a setback. It certainly did not affect her because she attended QC indeed. Determination and focus can get you through some challenging times and I have had my fair share of that. She recently celebrated her 21st birthday and has achieved a lot of achievements. People often refer to her as a younger version of me. I was far from her achievements at 21 years old.

I had my first daughter Mariska and was living with my mom without a job. I was determined to turn my life around not just for me but I owed that to my baby girl who did not ask to come into this world. I recently celebrated my 46th birthday and was reflecting on my life. I am so blessed to have the life I have because of both the successes and failures. People don’t like to talk about failures but we should because it is not a question of if you will fail, but when. Failure can paralyse us and prevent us from reaching our full potential if we don’t persevere.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

I am a strong believer in trying something and failing than failing to try anything. When you possess a healthy self-image you deal with failures better by evaluating why you failed instead of feeling like it is the end of the world. When we fail we often will like to play victim but when we do that we rob ourselves of learning valuable lessons and risk alienating others. It is important to view failure as a temporary set-back rather than a lifelong epidemic.

Rehashing our failures can bring a lot of negative emotions for us to deal with. Keeping the mind optimistic that there is a greater comeback for all your setbacks is ideal. Sometimes we set ourselves up for failures by setting unrealistic goals. A very simple example is imaging. I have not been to the gym in six years and decided to start a work-out schedule for two hours every day. We need to focus more on our strengths rather than dwelling on our weaknesses. We all have flaws but we also have talents that are waiting to be unearthed. Sharing one of my favourite quotes by one of my mentors:

“Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan” – John C. Maxwell.

Remember, failure is inevitable but how you deal with it determines your outcome. Let’s see failure as the price we pay for success.

Send us your comments to beyondtherunway1@gmail.com and visit our FB page as we continue this beautiful journey called life.

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