What should I do about a son who rejects spending time with me when I visit him? I am unable to see him regularly as he lives with my ex-wife in Mexico.My son is seven. I speak to him regularly on the phone. Because of work and my own family, I see him only once a year for two or three weeks. The last few times I’ve come to visit he says he wants to sleep over with his mom or his grandmother, not with me. He cries and does not let up.

Recently when he did that in public I gave him a few spanks to make him stop. I did not want to discipline him that way, but I felt it was the only solution available at the time. Now whenever he doesn’t want something, he starts crying.
I love him very much, but am torn. I don’t want to let my son dictate the terms of the time we spend together.

Enrique
Enrique, look at it from your son’s point of view. You are a stranger who shows up once a year. A flash of anger is the last thing to show him. It reinforces his desire not to be with you.

This is not a test of wills. It’s more like looking for the answer to a question. How do I become so attractive to my son he begs to spend more time with me? If you want a relationship with him, it has to be because he wants it. It has to fulfill his needs.

Be the concerned dad, so interested in his son, the boy wants to be with you and spend time with you.
Wayne &Tamara