TODAY is the day we celebrate and uplift our fathers. Today, we show gratitude to men who have sacrificed so much, just so that we can become individuals we want to be. Today is Father’s Day. For some, however, today is just another regular Sunday. Today is also a day that many people wish did not exist. “Father’s Day” in my home has always been celebrated. I devote my time and energy towards gestures that I know will put a smile on my father’s face. I make meals with his favourite dishes. I make handmade cards and I show him how much I appreciate him, but I know the same can’t be said for many.

For many persons, this day is a reminder of painful thoughts and memories. For some, it brings forth feelings of abandonment. For others, it reminds them of a father who is no longer with us or a father who had to move away for a job or for betterment. Many will also be reminded of the fact that their father is physically there, but is many times emotionally absent. Some persons are also reminded of a “father” who hurt them tremendously and some fathers might also remember their regretful mistakes of letting their children down. It can be quite an emotional day. An average of 24 million children will spend Father’s Day fatherless. It is a joyous day for many and most will flood social media with heartfelt wishes to their fathers, but will you check up on your fatherless friends and families today? Will you ask them how they’re coping? Will you ask them to vent and reflect upon their feelings?

We must understand that the word “father” should not be restricted to a specific person. Your biological father might be the one who made you, but I am sure there are men who have stepped up to the challenge and took up that role. It was probably an uncle, your grandfather, your stepfather, a community leader and even your mother (yes, some mothers will play the role of both parents if they can). Whoever it may be that was that father figure and guiding light for you to become the person you are today, then you can use this day to celebrate them as well. You can use this day to reflect on your life and a better future that you may want for yourself and your future children.

If viewing online posts and attending church services is overwhelming for you, then step away from those mediums for a while. Be at peace with yourself and allow your heart and mind to heal themselves. Always remember that it is okay to speak about your feelings, it is okay for you mothers to have open conversations with your children about their fathers and it is okay for you the children to ask questions. Fathers can be an important figure in our lives. Many fathers have intentionally missed important moments, if not being absent from a child’s life for a very long time. If you are reading this and you are a father who has a guilty conscience after reading this article, then that is exactly how you should feel. But, what are you going to do about it now? Will you try to be better?

If you are spending Father’s Day, at home alone with feelings of sadness, anger or even disappointment, then just know that I salute your strength and your wit. Many of us have looked up to a man we call “Dad” as our superheroes, to save us from the world. You have had to face this angry world by yourself. You are still alive and breathing—that is enough evidence of success. You’ve had to sew your own cape and fight your battles by yourself. You became your own superhero and for that, you should be proud of yourself. I am hopeful that you will grow with strength after each Father’s Day after reading this piece. Wear your cape proudly!