I CAME out of a religious home, but the Michael Forde Bookstore (MFB) had an influence on me moving towards agnosticism and then full-blown atheism. At 17, I worked at that bookstore owned by the PPP situated at the bottom of Freedom House. At 17, it was not easy to read philosophy books, and MFB carried a huge range of philosophy books from Socrates in ancient times to Jean Paul Sartre.
It was easy to digest books on Marxist philosophy. Their explorations, explanations and extrapolations were done in simple terms. If you want to read a book that makes philosophy simple, then try “Marxist Philosophy’ by V.Afanasyev, Progress Publishers, 1968. The book has gone out of print for decades now. Unfortunately, Afanasyev did not include Martin Heidegger. I don’t think you can understand philosophy without Heidegger’s magnum opus, “Being and Time,” a brilliant expedition into philosophy.
By the time I was 20, I was no longer a believer. There were a few religious persons in my life, but none came closer to having an influence on me as Pastor Ronald McGarrell, who died last week. If I were on my hospital bed, they would have had to wheel me into the service to give one of the eulogies. I did so last Saturday, and it gave me an opportunity to tell Guyanese what a good human Guyana has lost.

In my eulogy, I said that Ronald was philosophically impeccable. I explained what I meant by that. He was the perfect being. Ronald and I had nothing in common. I was not a believer; he was a devout and devoted believer. I spent a lifetime in politics; he eschewed that kind of societal activity for obvious reasons. All we had in common was mutual fondness. I didn’t know why he liked me. I liked him because I saw in him qualities I don’t see often in humans.
There comes a time in your life when you meet someone, and in that very moment, you take to them. For some inexplicable reason, there is an instant liking. That has happened to me with President Ali and Ronald. I have shared a wonderful friendship with Pastor Dr. Ronald McGarrell for over 30 years.
This was a human that had the touch of uniqueness. In a country torn with ubiquitous quarrels centred on race, culture and politics, Pastor McGarrrell rose above the ordinariness and banalities that characterised human existence in Guyana. In my eulogy, I offered two examples of his influence on me.
There was a physical attack on me that made the headlines. He came to me and spoke quietly about his concern, and he prayed for me. He never asked me even to repeat a word of his prayer. This was out of respect for whom I was – a person without religious convictions.
There was a larger physical attack on me on another occasion, and in that moment, as a non-religious person, I felt a subtle influence on me in the realm of the divine that came through the words of consolation from Pastor McGarrell. I have been very close to two high parishioners of the Catholic Church – Jesuit priest, Andrew Morrison and Sisters of Mercy Nun, Mary Noel Menezes. I never had a religious conversation with them.
In times of trouble, they would just wish me well and urge me to be careful. The only time in my life when a religious person instilled in me that there will be a divine intervention in my life was with Pastor Ronald McGarrell. On the second occasion of endangerment, his words were piercing.
He said words to me that I will never forget, and I told the mourners just that in my eulogy last Saturday. He said that he failed me in the first episode, and he has come again not only to save me but also to redeem himself. This was real complex stuff coming from a religious man.
He asked me to believe in him when he said that I will never walk alone in this life because he will be there. I remember his words right now ringing out of my ears. He told me that I will not see him, I will not hear him, his shadow will not be seen, but he will be there. At that moment, you get lost in the inspiration that someone you like is giving off.
Nothing happened to me after his second prayer, but despite my admiration for him, I simply did not have the capacity to succumb to proselytization. I will miss this good human. I wish he did not have to die. But I guess that is life. Goodbye, Ronald, forever.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Guyana National Newspapers Limited.