TODAY is my birthday and never in my wildest imagination would I believe my birthday in 2023 would be yet another sad occasion. I tend to lose loved ones that are part of my emotional edifice around the Christmas season. My father and mother died around this time.

Then last year, our pet cat, “Dusty” died around this time. Few humans will ever experience how much a pet animal can be loved. A loved pet simply evolves into an integral member of the family. Dusty was a rare cat. She acted differently from all other animals. It was if she was the embodiment of the essential me. I saw me in her and her in me.

This year’s birthday was terrible. I didn’t think for one moment we would have a Venezuelan invasion. So I was never worried. It was the loss of five top army officers in the cause of duty that riveted my soul. I am a believer in Marxist economics. I don’t see an antithesis between a capitalist economy and forms of Marxist economics as practised by the state. In Scandinavia, they combine the working out of capitalist economics and Marxist state deliveries in ways that are phenomenal.

What has this got to do with the five army officers? I believe in countless countries, they are phenomenal patriots who serve their countries and will never live in mansions and never be billionaires. These are our heroes. These are the people that keep countries alive. It is in this context the death of these men has tortured my soul.

I had a very brief encounter with Colonel Michael Shahoud at the Fort Groyne seawall. I was with my dog and he came up to me as he recognised me and wanted to say hello. He was all decked out in army fatigues.

There are some personalities you meet at random and they leave a lasting impression on you. The colonel had an imposing personality that makes you remember him. When I read his name was among the five who had died, I remember that this was the charismatic soldier I once met on the seawall.

I am Guyanese and the tragedies that befall Guyana are my top priorities. They tend to preoccupy your thoughts, but I would be lying in the most degenerate ways if I say that the Gaza genocide did not rivet my soul in ways that were just as impactful as the tragedies of my own country.

I kept thinking over and over why I was so shaken by the Gaza genocide. What about it that so tormented my mind? The realisation came to me over the Christmas period. It had to do with my studies of the Nazi period in history.

I taught philosophy to social science students at UG for 26 years and it was the realisation that what the Nazis did to other humans before I was born, I am seeing the repetition of that before my very eyes and a huge, important part of the world is supporting in 2023 what the Nazis did 90 years ago. I will go into details in another column when I review the world in 2023 shortly.

So what I am doing for my birthday. I have shared the totality of my birthday since I was 24 with one woman – my wife, Janet Mohamed Kissoon. So I will be doing that on this day. She normally cooks a special meal each year. Today, it will be pizza.

I will take my dog, Princess, on the ocean shore at Eve Leary today as I do each afternoon. Today will be no exception. Our other dog, Sammy, panics when he is in the car and may break the windows so he is banned from entering the car. Princess, on the other hand, was in the car since she was a puppy and enjoys the ride. She is so accustomed to being driven that she is restless if she does not get her daily drive.

On each birthday as I get older, I look back and the regrets drench me like tidal waves. This year’s birthday is no different. I still cherish my idealism and my Don Quixote journey but if I had to live my life all over, I would shape it differently.

I will make loud noises for the poor and powerless but there are pathways I would definitely avoid that I didn’t. Within the bosom of youthful idealism are the seeds of self-destruction. I leave you with one of my favourite poems from ancient Sanskrit literature that symbolises my evolution.

Hands in clasped hands
And side pressed close to side
Stand silently some children of the poor
And shyly, hungry eyes half turned aside
Observe the eater through the open door