– Love and loss in motherhood

WHEN she lost the baby in her first pregnancy, it was all too overwhelming. Evie Anne Kanhai- Gurchuran can still remember the anxiety that overtook her; the grief was almost unbearable, and for a long time, she wasn’t sure what direction she wanted to pursue in life or if she’d ever want to be a mom again.

To her, losing her child was the most outstanding challenge she has ever had to deal with as everything changed rapidly; the uncertainty in everything was too much to handle. “Up to five months, everything was going well, and then I would just feel a lot of pain in my pelvis,” Evie shared in an interview with Pepperpot Magazine.

As she started to develop severe complications, things became very scary, in fact, frightening. “We had the funeral and everything. It was something very hard to get over; a very traumatic experience.”

As depression and other ills stepped in, Evie decided she’d throw herself entirely into work, so she concentrated on building her business. She’s the Chief Executive Officer of Gurchuran Investments Inc., leading the Java Coffee Bar Inc. teams, EMTEC, and Site Builders.

She and her husband, Miguel, also started to travel as a coping mechanism. They seemed to have given up on parenting because about five years had passed and Evie had not gotten pregnant again. So they began talking about adoption, not knowing that they would be having an entirely different conversation one month later.

When Evie found out she was pregnant again, she and her husband checked about five times to make sure it was so. Although very happy and excited about the news, Evie was extremely careful throughout this pregnancy, and today, that baby is almost 10 years old. Evie and Miguel are also parents to three more kids, ages one, three, and seven.

Despite the initial issues that came along with parenting, Evie would have it no other way. “Motherhood is something that I thought wouldn’t be possible for me. At one point, the doctors were telling me it was unsafe to have a full-term pregnancy, so just knowing that I have been entrusted with four lives makes me feel like I have a future and purpose,” Evie expressed.

Striving to raise her children in a very “intentional” way, Evie says she has in mind becoming a full-time parent within the next few years, which means that she’d have to reduce her responsibilities at work and diversify her portfolio so that she can really get to “dig into motherhood”, support her kids’ dreams, and help them to realise their fullest potential.

“Parenting four children is all-consuming. No matter what you’re doing, whether it’s working or leisure time, you’re always thinking about them and talking about them is like the highlight of your life,” Evie shared. There are those days that are filled with “imperfection and chaos” but Evie said having a routine helps, along with being consistent in certain things.

“I feel like mothers don’t really have a choice. Some people seem to think that taking care of children is optional; for me and the mothers I know, it’s really about consistency. Every day you’re getting up and caring for these little people that sometimes have no one else.”

Evie said it helps, though, when she manages as a unit and not individually. This means that she assigns chores and gets the kids involved in what needs to be done.

Evie the businesswoman 

Apart from being a successful mom to her four daughters, Evie is also quite a successful businesswoman. With a fascination for Perry Mason and Murder She Wrote, she wanted to become a lawyer while growing up. But her father, a business owner and a traditional man, wanted her to work with him and not pursue higher education. However, her love for reading, writing and eventually being creative won, and she has enjoyed a very rewarding career in Marketing/Public Relations and Business Development.

Evie even copped the GCCI’s Woman in Business Award for 2022. “I felt very validated by my peers that I was doing something good. It was more than an award; it was a celebration of hard work. For me, it really boosted my morale that my work was recognised and appreciated. I was nominated a few times before, so winning it this time felt good; it made me want to do even more for the business community,” she expressed.