By Vanessa Cort
IT is heartening to know that men’s problems, and in particular those of single fathers, are being heard and tackled in our society in a way that will bring about meaningful change.

The recent announcement by Human Services and Social Security Minister Dr Vindhya Vasini Persaud that her ministry plans to establish a single-fathers support group is as welcome as it is timely.

This initiative was fuelled by a walk, organised by social activist Randy Sheppard, drawing attention to the very real issues that men all over the world encounter daily.

The pressure faced by our male counterparts was intensified recently by the COVID-19 pandemic, which saw many face job losses or reduced working hours, leading to loss of incomes or decreased wages, while expectations – that they keep their families housed, clothed and fed – remained the same.

And the underlying view, espoused by societies across the globe that men must be strong, face all the odds unflinchingly and show no emotion, has only served to compound the issue.

Generally, too, men have remained relatively stoic, unwilling to speak of their difficulties or reveal their emotional strain for fear of being seen as weak or incapable.

However, as the walk titled, “Men helping men, hearing men, healing men,” has shown, men are becoming more active and vocal in highlighting their problems and forcing society to take notice.

While the majority of single-parent families are headed by women, who, it has been acknowledged, face myriad challenges, the same level of attention has not been accorded men, who often face even greater troubles.

Household chores and meal preparation, which come relatively easily for women accustomed to wearing multiple ‘hats’ and juggling everyday activities, often pose seemingly insurmountable hurdles for men.

In a scenario where ‘practice (definitely) makes perfect’, few men have had the practice and when called upon to do so, court, at best, failure and at worst, disaster.

Many are the sit-com tales of single fathers floundering around in the kitchen trying to prepare a meal with young children underfoot, while the older ones ‘do their own thing’, reluctant to help, household chores are neglected and chaos reigns.

Some men may achieve success in the short-term, but all need help in sustaining this for the ‘long haul,’ when there is no end in sight and little outside assistance is forthcoming.

One single dad with a five year-old son said on The Fatherhood web site that, solo parenting has not always proved easy, telling single dads, “You’ll make lots of mistakes. But you’re their dad and that cannot be taken away from you”.

And Wayne Parker, writing for VeryWell Family, notes that there are few situations more challenging than becoming a new single dad with children at home. “Whether you lose your spouse and the mother of your kids to death or because of divorce and/or abandonment, adjusting to the new reality of things is a major and life-changing task”, he tells single fathers.

His advice to those struggling with “where to start and how to even begin to get your arms around the rest” is to establish new routines for everything, from grocery shopping to keeping school papers in order.

However this is easier said than done and single dads still have to grapple with a situation for which they are usually unprepared and which their children may also find difficult to handle.

At the top of the list of parenting tips for single dads is, ‘get some support’, which is where a group such as the one planned by the Human Resources Minister will definitely be able to play its part.

It cannot only provide a forum for single dads to discuss their problems and get advice, but also gives them the unique opportunity to hear from those with more experience in the role and allow them to celebrate their triumphs, while dealing with their setbacks.